Being

1 - Embarrassment

Embarrassment (n) - humiliation; shame

It was a tragedy. A true art form of devastation at its finest. Little girl Paige sits peacefully on her bed, an eyepiece blocking her vision from the real world and granting access to another. Little girl Fern sits on her bed, alone with just her thoughts and no words escaping her mouth. Her mind is running a mile a minute; her brain large enough to conceive such thoughts. But what she doesn’t have, is the opportunity every child her age should have. To be able to communicate with others. She may say a few soft words to her parents such as “hello” or “goodnight”, but only in passing. No real conversations has she had in a long time. Fern lacked the social skills to have true friendships with other “Realists” – which was a name her parents told her never to use. All other citizens were linked into the simulation, resuming life without Fern inside. Sometimes, she felt alone but she never told anyone.

When it was time to go to school, Fern dragged herself out of bed. Her feet slumped across her bedroom floor, stopping in front of the mirror. She hated her reflection because she didn’t know what true beauty was. It was truly a sad thought, to have a small nine year old girl think so little of herself when she can’t see how delightful she really was.

Her eyes were nearly open, the drowsiness taking over. Her movements were slow as she undressed and slipped on her school uniform. She tugged on her tight fitting socks and shoes, her feet aching for another size. Next year, they promised. Most likely, however, it would never come.

The state’s mind was always in the clouds. Some even participated in the simulation, leaving its people outside to fend for themselves. The education system has turned completely rotten; programmed machines giving lessons to the few children who listened. Fern listened, as she always had. She had a certain thirst for knowledge that was uncommon in children her age. Her motivation is unchanging; her craving to make a change. She wanted to gain the knowledge to have power in the world.

Yet, she remained just a piece of lint on the world’s agenda. Soon, she will be done away with, grow old and die. She would have no impact on what people were doing to themselves. Destroying themselves. She would be an insignificant part of world history, her name never mentioned in books, never studied by later scientists. Her bones will eventually become one with the earth, never to be uncovered by those not clever enough to see life as Fern did.

Her gentle footsteps treaded down the steps of her comfy home, awaiting a hushed good morning from her parents. When it came, Fern felt instant relief in the one thing she knew she could rely on. Her hands felt a small bar for breakfast, from which she hated the taste of. In her daze, she also grabbed a mug for her caffeine to wake her up. At such a young age, her brain needed the energy to process the lessons her teachers threw at her. One shot and one shot only. No rewinds, no re-dos.

Fern quietly leaves her dwelling to start her long journey to school. With the mug remaining back inside, Fern wished she had drunken more. Her throat was dry, mirroring the ground she stepped on. There was no green to be seen for miles, and she liked the comfort it brought her even though she knew it wasn’t natural. She yearned to see live plants, as she had learned in her science course. They grew on little need. Water, sunlight, carbon dioxide and they turn into some beautiful creatures indeed.

Fern hummed a tune, ignoring her dry throat. She skipped along, trying to cheer herself up. She came for the knowledge at school, nothing else. Not to joke around with friends during freetime or speak to her teachers after class. Get in, get out, and keep your head down were the rules Fern preferred to live by.

She usually didn’t notice the men outside her home, making trails in short dashes, keeping the same distance between each person, and watching protectively. Fern thought the men were nice people forced to work dirty jobs. Keeping an eye out for out-of-line individuals was their cause. They never seemed to have a voice - or constant eye contact, either. They seemed very evasive when questioned about the future of people outside of the simulation, answering with a simple grunt or an order to “keep to yourself”. Fern has heard this command many times. She was curious and she couldn’t help it.