The Symphony

But if you close your eyes.

 {The reason I chose this song is because it reminds me of my life.  So play it or don't, it doesn't change the story at all.}

   When Elizabeth heard the alarm on her phone, a bright smile immediately came to her face. She jumped up, silencing her phone, and ran to her room to get dressed. She was going to see James tonight. She felt so happy and giddy. She stripped to her underwear and put on her special bra. It fit her better than her usual one, even if it was a little less comfortable. Then she put her tights on, cringing at how they wanted to slip down her large thighs. Then she went to the bathroom to do her hair and make up before she put on her dress. Her short, boy cut hair was styled with moose into a more feminine style. The make up she applied simple and natural looking. She decided to wait on the lip gloss since it was a long drive to the theater. She ran back to her room and slipped on the dress she bought especially for the occasion. Well, that was stretching the truth a bit. She had wanted this dress for quite awhile, she just used the concert as an excuse to buy it. She was so excited, not just to see her best friend/guy-she-cared-about-way-too-much, but for the concert. It was a Chopin centered concert, but other composers that were similar also had a few pieces in there. It was way longer than a normal symphony,but it was going to be amazing. Chopin was one of her favorite composers. He just had a way to reach her heart like no other composer did. But, my god, his violin pieces make Mozart look like he had no idea what difficult music was. She couldn't get through a measure without screwing it up.

    Once her dress was on, she slipped on her heels and looked in the mirror.  She smiled sheepishly. I look beautiful. She thought. The dress was simple, yet very elegant, making her look mature, but also sweet and carefree. Her hair added a hint of edginess, but it went with the dress nicely. Her makeup was perfect, enhancing her beauty, not covering it up.  Her shoes were very simple and complimented the dress perfectly.  She looked dressed up, but not like she tried too hard. It was perfect.  And, in that moment, she could believe what all of her friends had told her before. I'm perfect. I hope he sees it too. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she grabbed her Coach purse and went down the stairs. After double checking that she had everything, she snatched up her keys and went out the door.

    She had been driving for about a half hour with music flowing from the speakers when she got the text. From the ringtone, she knew it was James. She got off at the next exit and pulled into a gas station. She needed gas anyways. When she opened her phone, her heart shattered.

{James}

[6:57]

I can't make it tonight. The new meds have me very sick. I'm hanging over the toilette as I am sending this. I'm really sorry. I was really looking forward to seeing you.

    Tears tried to form in her eyes but she pushed them back. She wasn't going to cry. She knew this might happen. Poor guy was almost always sick. When they were in school, there would be days he would be in the bathroom most of class, if he could make it to school at all. But she had hoped the new meds would have helped the situation. She had wanted to see him so badly, she let her hopes get up too high. With a deep, shaky breath she replied.

{Elizabeth}

[7:02]

Awww,I hope you feel better soon :(. I was looking forward to seeing you too. I promise I will tell you all about it :).

She hit send, then thought of something. When he gets sick like this, he ends up staying up most of the night. He'll be alone and sick and miserable. He was on the her way back.. She had nothing important to do tomorrow.. He had even said that he had wanted to see her.. Before she could talk herself out of asking, she moved her fingers over the keys rapidly.

{Elizabeth}

[7:02]

If you want, I can stop by on the way back from the symphony. I don't want you to stay up all night sick, miserable, and alone. I have nothing to do tomorrow, so it'd be no hassle.

    God, she hoped he said yes. She put her phone down and started getting gas. Half-way through, her phone rang. When she answered, a smile found its way to her face. It was James.

    "Hello?" She said.

    "Hey, it's James." She couldn't help but smile at his voice. She loved it so much. But she could hear the exhaustion in his voice from being sick. Throwing up took a lot out of ya. No pun intended.

    "Hey. You don't sound so good." Her voice was sympathetic and sweet. When he replied, she could hear his smile in his voice.

    "Well that's probably because I'm sick." He paused for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was serious and, was that regret? "I'm sorry I can't make it. I really wanted to be there with you. I hope your not too upset." Elizabeth was shocked. She had never heard him talk like this. He never talked about his feelings. Not for the reason most guys don't, but because he didn't want to bother people with them. He was always such a gentleman.

    "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset, but I understand. I'm not upset with you at all, I know you can't help it." She paused, but when he didn't say anything, she continued. "You know, I meant what I said. If you want me to, I'd be more than happy to stop by on the way back. I don't want you to be alone on top of sick and miserable." She waited for a response. One didn't come for a longtime.

    "You don't have to. But, if it really isn't any trouble, I would really like for you to stop by." He almost sounded like he was confessing something.

    "It's never any trouble be there for your best friend. I have nothing to do tomorrow, and I miss you. I'm looking forward to seeing you." She couldn't keep the smile off her face. He wanted to see her.

    "I miss you too. I can't wait to see you either." Elizabeth's heart skipped a beat and her breath caught. He missed her. He wanted to see her. Suddenly she heard a horrible noise from the phone. He was dry heaving. In that moment she wanted nothing more than for him not to be sick. For this torture and misery of his to end. But she knew that wasn't possible. He was going to be burdened with this illness for the rest of his life. Taking pills three times a day to keep himself from dieing. Going through his day exhausted because his meds had kept him up all night. Dry heaving helplessly into the toilette when he'd rather be here with her, going to an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime concert. He would never admit how difficult and miserable his life can be.

    She waited patiently for the fit to subside, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. When he finally could take a minute to breath, even through the phone, Elizabeth could tell how shaky and unstable his breaths were. She knew he was shaking uncontrollably and was probably in a cold sweat. She wanted to be there to comfort him. When he spoke, his voice was shaky and slightly hoarse.

    "You should go so you can get back on the road. Don't worry about me, ok? Enjoy the concert for the both of us." A single tear finally fell. His voice, the pain he was in, it cracked her a little. She took a deep breath before replying.

    "I will. For you. Try and get some rest, ok? I'll see you after the symphony." James's voice was more stable now.

    "I will. See ya then. Bye."

    "Bye." He hung up. And, knowing he couldn't hear her, she said,

    "I love you.."