His Forever

Chapter 5: war

I wonder what I had done to deserve so much hatred. As I sat at my desk looking out the window, zoning out into the blue abyss of the cloudless sky, I desperately fought the tears that threatened to spill from my water lines. I thought about all those lucky girls out there having the privilege of being a daddy's girl and later on finding the next love of their life and marrying him and spending the rest of their lives together in happiness and bliss. I envied them. really. Why wasn't I given that chance? Why wasn't I given that normal life? Why was I hated for any logical reason.
Nothing but sadness ever clogged up the dark allies of my mind. My mind was a maze of sadness and depression. I looked across the room and noticed a pretty girl with brown wavy hair peeking down on her lap as the teacher lectured away and smiling at the dimly lit screen in between her thighs.
I wonder what she had seen? Something so simple and small as a lit up screen between her thighs made her smile from ear to ear truly made me jealous. Why wasn't I able to smile at the simple things? I did not own a cell phone but I was never desperate or upset for that. What upset me was the fact that it almost seemed as if I had nothing to smile about in my life. I had no reason to throw my head back and just laugh. It been years.... Many many years.... Since I last laughed like a carefree soul. Since I was a little girl... And my father would chase me around the backyard in hot summer day while all the sprinklers were turned on and he would catch me in the matter of seconds and throw me over his shoulder. I would laugh and complain about putting me down. As soon as I escaped I would take flight just to be caught once again. I loved being chased by my daddy. I loved the feeling of no matter how many times I ran from him I knew that he would catch me each time and then blow bubbles in my tummy as I would squirm in his arms and fling my legs around begging for him to stop because my stomach hurt from laughing out of control. I wish I could laugh like that again....
As the bell for first period rang, students began pilling inside the classroom one after another. I pulled the sleeves of my long sleeved shirts up my palms and held them against my sweaty palms. I lowered my head so my hair covered the front of my face and I scooted farther back in my seat. I was never good with people. They never treated me very nice since my father, their alpha, did not put any value to me. I was thankful that most of the time they would ignore me or forget about my existence. But if they became bored enough I wouldn't be surprised to find myself being tripped by a foot in the hallways or find chewing gum stuck to my books and my hair. I could even take the low whispers or name calling because they were so very minimal compared to what dad put me through everyday. But at the end of the day they all added up and my life just remained ever so miserable.
I made my way to my first period class which was English. I sat at the back of the class room, my usual spot by the window, and stared at the quiet trees and the birds nest that's been there for ages. Mr. Monti talked about the ever so wonderful plays of Shakespeare such as mid summer nights dream as the class continued to ignore him and mind their own business. "Alice ! Would you mind sharing a little bit about what you know about Shakespeare with the rest of the class?" Mr. Monti picked on a blond girl typing away on her phone. "He was cool I guess" she replied with sarcasm as the rest of the class giggled. Mr. Monti frowned in disapproval and ignored her smart comment and went on to ramble about mid summer nights dream.
I read the play actually.it was quite dreamy. But a bit unrealistic if you ask me. I longed for romance like that but those are only for story books. My reality was much harsher and I could never dream about finding the perfect mate who will sweep me off my feet and run away with me into the forest. I don't ever want to let my hopes up. Ever. There's already too much hurt I have experienced I no longer want to trust anyone to show me love and care when my own father never found me worthy enough to deserve it.
As it came closer and closer to lunch time I became scared of going home to my drunk father and a homecoming beating if he's awake that is. I knew I would have to make him lunch as soon as I walk into the door. Hopefully he doesn't throw the plate across the room if he doesn't like what I made again. I have cooked for him since my mother had died but have been only criticized for being a horrible daughter even tho I don't think my cooking is half that bad.
As I sat at one end of the lunch room quietly chewing on my apple, out of no where a commotion started as all the male students gathered in one corner whispering furiously about something about an attack on the border lines from another tribe. Rage became visible through each mans veins as the fought the urge to change. Their canes showed through the splits of their lips and their elongated their claws ready for a fight as they became angrier and angrier by the minute. Moments later they vanished.
The whole cafeteria roared in gossips exchanged between the women as some girls became extremely worried for their mates safety. I became worried about my father since he would have to lead the group as his position as the alpha. It was unfortunate that there were no Luna's to comfort the panicking women. I wish I could take that responsibility but I never had the opportunity. Plus everyone hated me in the clan so I couldn't even try even if I wanted to. Did not matter how they ever treated. I wanted to be there for my people, and it upset me that I could do nothing.
After a little while I left the cafeteria, I started walking towards my house. On my way, I saw my father and his beta father all the warriors and speak amongst them about plan of attack. He noticed my presence and strode over to me furiously. I cringed as he forcefully grabbed my wrist and gritted his teeth to angrily tell me to go home and lock the door. When he walked away, I couldn't help but feel a tingle in my heart.
I didn't wanna get my hopes up to be honest. I didn't want to think that my father actually cared. But my I couldn't control my heart. There was a sense of love I felt for him at the moment and no matter how horribly he treated me over the past few years I couldn't help but love him with all my heart.
I quickly ran home and dashed inside my house locking all the doors and windows as my father had instructed me to do so. Huffing and puffing I slid down the wall and buried my face in my arms and tears began spilling out my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying. Weather it was out of joy or fear. My heart just couldn't take it anymore. So I cried. I whaled. I let it all out. I must have dogged off for a because when I woke up there's was so much yelling and crying outside my house. And there was smoke leaking in from u see the door. I coughed rashly and covered my nose as I tried to escape from all the smoke.
I began to panic as the house filled with smoke. Not a minute after a part of the ceiling came crashing down and flames went up the window curtains. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran for the door. Before I could get to the door another part of the ceiling came crashing down in front of it. I felt trapped. There was fire everywhere and no escape.
This was it. This is how I die. I thought to myself as I crouched down under the dinning table hugging my knees to my chest. As I closed my eyes I thought about my father, the people from my clan and most importantly I thought about my mom. And at that moment I was so longer afraid. There's nothing I'm leaving behind if I die. It's not as if either my father or my clan will miss me or feel sad if I disappeared. I mean they have hated nme for as long as I can remember. I doubt that they would even notice if I'm gone. I wiped away the tears and placed my knees to the floor. Everything was burning around me and as I looked at my mothers favorite kitchen apron on fire I couldn't help but began crying again. Although no one will miss me I will miss many of the things in this house and the people from my clan. No matter how many terrible memories surrounds around this house, once up on a time I grew up here with a happy father, a wonderful mother and a loving clan. However, I felt ready. Ready to join my mother up there. I longed to feel her touch again, be in her embrace and feel her safety.
As I dreamt of being with my mother again I was shocked and jumped up when the front door came crashing down to the floor and there stood a man between gigantic flames. My eyes widened and my breath became short huffs. I could feel my heart beat as if it was placed right next to my ears. I clenched my fists. Trying to get a grip. Grip of what? I didn't know. Something inside me froze as I looked into his eyes. A voice. A foreign voice whispered the most unexpected name in my conscious. "Mate"... and in that moment my entire world came crashing down onto my lap....