Pathetic. That's how I described yesterday's happening.
Tssss.. Hate these circumstances I am with.
Why couldn't I just live a life?
I mean,
Im 22 yet still hungry of doing so many things.
I want to do this and that. They slowly die in me.
I was very ambitious back then.
I don't want to end up this life just simply a private teacher having not gone to places and a plain worker of this unfortunate land.
For all I know, I'm so tired of being not a human.
For ______'s sake, I wont do things that might harm myself.
It pisses me off so much when Mam shouts me on the phone.
I can actually feel pity for myself.
Sometimes, I don't get to understand why she's like that.
She's not even that very very old that she couldn't relate on me.
She's been here in my stage right now but why does it seem she couldn't understand my needs? Does she want me to refrain myself from people?
Well, it's like killing me.
This profession of mine always interact with people.
It's difficult to unlearn what I have already learned.
All she wants as always is to understand them because I got enough education.
Tssss. I so hate that reason.
I want to die.
Die because Im tired but God is still with me.
The more I think of it, the more he lets me think of the consequences.
There's no use in locking myself in a room and cry.
Due to this, Im afraid I'd be a late bloomer.
I t's because I haven't experience doing something odd and crazy when I was young.
I'm afraid of the danger this helpless situation would give me soon.
I know this is foolish to say but I dream of disappearing one day and all I do is sleeping because in sleep I found peace.
Hi there to all deprived individuals.
What a boring and monotonous life you have!
May you find joy in that because if you don't,
you might be committing a suicide right now.
Till next time! Bye!
