It's been a few months now.
The tears are still streaming down my face.
The pain will never fully leave,
because I loved you too much.
Why did I never tell you?
All it's done is left me in regret.
I loved you more than you know.
While I may not have showed it.
I appreciate all that you've done.
Every memory is a pleasant one.
Now, as I am having fun this summer,
I can only think of ours in the past.
All of out trips and adventures.
Like the time we went to our first concert.
The time we drove for hours to a dinosuar exhibit that we never found.
Or even the times we would sit around doing nothing.
I cherish all these times.
Thank you for these beautiful memories.
Here comes spring.
School is starting up again.
I'm shopping for clothes and supplies without you,
I have absoluetly no idea what I'm doing.
How did you manage to juggle all of this?
It's the first day of school.
My first day of High School!
I'm finally back with my older sister after four years!
Although, it won't be the same.
Something is missing today.
Where are the first day of school pictures?
Where is the goodluck hug?
I always took them for granted,
I never knew they had meant so much to me.
Here comes freshman year homecoming!
I remember how excited you were when you found out my older sister had a date,
how you then when out making sure she had the perfect dress and shoes.
I always hoped we could do the same.
I had a date, and a beautiful dress.
It still wasn't the same.
I almost wated to skip out last minute.
I couldn't bring myself out of the shower,
As I was using it to hide my tears.
The I remembered how you would want me to go no matter what.
As the leaves are changing colors,
I begin to think of your delicious homemade meals.
I even tried to recreate the pie we would make every year,
they still weren't the same, they were missing something.
Maybe it was your special ingredient that no one knew existed,
Or just that motherly touch.
Now the leaves are falling.
I think of the pictures you kept.
All of the times we had spent hours of raking,
Only to jump around inside the piles making a mess again.
The time we bought a pumpkin large enough for me and my sister to sit in.
I mostly remember the homemade Power Puff Girl coustumes.
You had a skill for sewing.
I'm sorry I took it away by jamming your machine.
The frost is starting to settle in every morning.
It'll be Christmas in a month,
and in another, my birthday.
It'll be different without you.
Decorating the tree without your guidence will be a challenge,
And there wont be anyone to remind that it's January 30th.
No one to give me empty boxes,
Or to fall asleep with at the end of the day.
I know I'll survive these cold times ahead without you,
It'll definetly be a challenge, but it's okay.
I'll cuddle with my sock monkey that you bought me
Before all of this pain came upon you.
The two of us will watch movies on the couch,
and remember all the good times we've had with you.
We'll cry for you,
We'll laugh for you.
We will carry on your presence.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I wish I'd said it more.
You wouldn't want me to live in regret,
So I won't.
I just hope you knew
That I loved you.
That I appreciate it all.
That I miss you.
And that you were the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Thank you for being such an amazing mom.
I know that you are watching from above,
and don't worry,
I'll see you again someday.
