Eighty-two Pieces (NaNoWriMo 2013)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

My first kiss was with a razor, it gripped my wrist so hard I drew blood; the pain was pleasurable yet relieving.

After successfully sleeping for five hours in one go (not waking up once) I awoke at 06:00:23 and got out of bed. It’s the same routine every day; except normally I wouldn’t get five full hours of holy sleep in one go. I have to go to the hospital every morning for a weigh in and breakfast. They believe that if they’re giving me breakfast, they’re at least preventing me from fasting for too long. Waking up seems like a pointless task these days, I’d rather be dead, sleeping forever, than have to walk around like a half-dead ghost, supposedly emaciated, getting hateful stares from all the other girls around me.

I stretch and climb out of bed, half-blind and feeling dizzy. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, yesterday morning. Sluggishly, I wash my face and turn my straighteners on to heat up. I open my wardrobe and take my uniform out; a navy blue blazer, a white shirt, my navy blue tie, navy skirt and black tights. My uniform isn’t too bad, it could be worse but it’s not the best in the world. I’d rather have a uniform than have the judgmental girls with their noses in the air, loitering around, looking down on everyone who isn’t wearing the latest fashion.

Once I’d put my uniform, I straightened my thick, blonde hair which is slightly wavy but not nice enough to go out in without it being straightened. After that, I began to do my eye liner and mascara in front of my bathroom mirror - no bigger than my face. Purposefully so: it was a deliberate purchase, I didn’t want to be walking out of my shower and seeing a full length, naked, fat, disgusting body stare back at me.

I went downstairs, grabbed my coat and went out of the door. ‘06:37:49 - not bad,’ I thought to myself. Walking, I looked around at the surroundings, the trees just starting to change colour and the temperature declining steadily. It’s a twenty-five minute walk to the hospital - not that I mind - I like burning calories before breakfast; my food will digest quicker and therefore less fat will be stored. It’s been scientifically proven that if you do exercise in the morning or walk, your metabolism will still be high for up to twenty minutes after; meaning less fat is stored once food is consumed.

 I plug my earphones into my iPod; shuffle my playlist (one thing I’m proud of) consisting of Pierce the Veil, Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens and Bring Me the Horizon. Personally, I think I have a fantastic music taste, and that’s pretty much all I like about myself (depressing as it seems, it’s true).

No one is about at this time of the morning, meaning I am free to exercise as much as I like before 07:30:00. That’s when I’m due at the hospital, but I wake up earlier so I can take a quick detour to the park, do some exercise and then run to the hospital for twenty minutes before walking for five, so I arrive at the hospital as if I’ve definitely walked the whole way. The park is only a two minute walk from my house, so I begin by stretching and jogging on the spot lightly. After that, I run for five minutes flat out around the park. ‘06:45:28 - still time to do some aerobics and yoga, maybe even another short run,’ I think to myself as I am ahead of my schedule.

Once my intense aerobics and yoga is completed (07:02:31) I decide I may as well sprint around the park, although more people are about, I’m a ghost in my town and no one knows me properly. I sprint around the park, going as fast as I can, sweating like a pig (well I guess I am a pig), I notice a piece of paper tied onto a lamppost: “Have you seen this girl? Jessica Quern aged 19, 5’8” and a skinny build, last seen in the Octopus Nightclub, on Saturday at 23:45. If seen since then, please ring the number below.”

I check my phone and I have 7 missed calls, 2 from Ivy, 2 from Coral, 1 from Austin and 2 from an unknown number. I also have a few voicemails so I stop and almost faint, before dialling my voicemail number. “You have eight new voicemails. New voicemails:

(Ivy): Hey, darling, you okay? Your mother rang earlier saying you’d left the house without telling her, and you left earlier than usual. She’s worried about you, honey, I suggest you ring her. Also, if you see my sister about, please let me know, we don’t know where she is.

(Ivy): Hey, you’re probably fine or whatever, but please ring back, your mother said you were crying last night after coming back from the hospital and she said that she’s sorry for not being there for you. She says she’s probably overeating but she said it’s a mothers’ instinct. If you could ring back that would be great, or at least tell us you’re alive. We don’t mind where you are, just go to the hospital or whatever, but your mother is threatening to call the police.

(Coral): Hi, it’s Coral. Do you need me to do your biology project for you? I’m guessing you haven’t done it, you can use some elements of mine and I can do it for you if you like. Also, your mother just called my mum to ask whether you are at mine, I’m not sure what she meant by that but she sounded extremely worried and so I suggest you confirm where you are, she sounds worried

(Austin): HOWDY BUDDY. Okay sass queen, apparently, according to your sass boss (aka mother) you’ve gone out of the house this morning earlier than your usual crazily precise time of 6:58 so she’s just wondering where you’ve gone and stuff like that ‘cause I guess she thinks you’ve gone to go jump off a bridge or jump in front of a train - something on the lines of suicide so yeah, just ring her, pal ‘cause she’s missing her ‘baby’. I didn’t even realise your mum cared that much but there you go, ring back please buddy, I love you loads and yeah.

(Coral): Hi, I’ve just had another call from your mother. It’s Coral by the way, sorry I didn’t clarify earlier. She’s threatening to call the police if you don’t call her and she asked for your number so I had no choice but to give it to her. She said she’s going to call you so don’t be surprised if you have your mother screeching down the phone. Stay safe, darling, I don’t want to lose you.

(Unknown Number): ESTHER WINTER, PICK UP THE PHONE. I DON’T HAVE A SINGLE CLUE ABOUT YOUR WHERABOUST AND IT’S SCARING ME. I KNOW YOU DON’T THINK I CARE ABOUT YOU BUT I DO, I DON’T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DEATH OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, SO PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF SAFE, FOR LOVE OF YOUR MOTHER. YOU LEFT SO MUCH EARLIER THAN YOU NORMALLY DO, EVEN FOR YOU, SO PLEASE AT LEAST EXPLAIN WHY. I KNOW YOU LIKE TO LEAVE EARLY, BUT SERIOUSLY, FIVE THIRTY IS RIDICULOUS. IF YOU DON’T LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU ARE I WILL RING THE POLICE. Please ring back, I need you to let me know where you are.

(Unknown Number): Hey baby, I think I drank too much last night because boy, I am wasted! Sorry about my earlier voicemail thing - by the way, you have a really weird voicemail recording - I didn’t read my clock properly! I still want an ex-plan-a-tion of why you left earlier than you normally do, but as long as you check into the hospital, tell them your sassy mother (oh my word I am too old for that word) is worried about you and wants them to ring her. Ta, ta darling, enjoy your time at the hospital!”