All my life I barley had parents. Can someone help? I have no one and I am stuck with these people that I do not even know anymore. Ever since I was four years old my life went down the hill. I use to be the happiest girl in the world. I am now having trouble because I am smiling but my insides are pushing out of me. I just want to break down and cry and even run away to people that love me.
I never eat at my house my father says he does not have money for food and then he lets his girl friends daughters girlfriend move in and now there is less money. They are both 22 and they should be out of the house. Everyday my dad comes home he yells and throws things and hide away in my room while he calms down after ten minutes. He tells me how horrible I am and how stupid I am but I know I am trying my best. All I can think about today is I miss being happy.
When I am in school I am quiet because I do not need more people telling me how stupid I am. My school work is bad because I can not concentrate with my dad around I use to be really great at school but then my "step-sister" brings someone in and takes my happiness of being alone in my basement and doing homework there while I play Xbox. But since she moved in I got kicked out of the basement completely my school work is horrible and I have to share a room with someone that listens to rap music which distracts me. I always say I can not wait to grow up and get out of the house and move to England with my boyfriend because I know I will not be able to handle them all my life.
Everyday even though I do not speak much kids and even parents make fun of me but truth is they do not know my background. People I told about my story felt bad for me because my mom use to chase me with a knife and hit me with a spatula because she was drunk and even back then I barley ate. With everyone around and my life messed up with no one to love me and my dad barley lets me see my boyfriend all my happiness is when I am all alone. My dad stopped caring about me at 8 years old he is caught up with his work and sleep and his world of war craft.
I know you are probably thinking this is another story but your wrong this is my actual life. I am a 14 year old girl that barley has friends and has almost no family. The only person that loved me in my family was my pop pop because when I was all alone in my swing as a baby after work he would come up to me and talk to me and he would give me pity back rides. But when I was four he because ill with cancer and I let him have my stuffed animal named Brownie to keep him strong and confident. But he passed away when I almost turned five and I got my stuffed animal back and these days when I cry I hug it like he is with it. I was sad ever since then and then not to long I had to get rid of my favorite dog in the world. Her name was Amy and she was sick and I accidently fell on her and she bit my face open I was rushed to the hospital and then when I came home I looked for her and my grand mom told me they had to put her down. She was my last happiness.
With scars still in my face and sadness creeping up on me once in a while sometimes even in school when someone yells at me or makes fun of me I want to cry but I taught myself how to keep it inside. I like to hear everyone's stories because everyone is fighting a conflict and keeping inside them and crying themselves to sleep. Just always remember there's always someone fighting the same conflict.
My inspiration to tell my story is watching people on YouTube pass away because of depression. Do not let anyone win I always thought I was my dads baby girl until he stopped saying he loves me and my mom out of my life and all. Always think your important for the world because there's always at least one person that will understand your problem and will help you be happy. Just because someone in school puts you down do not put them down as well because who knows they might have a worse conflict then you. Stay strong!
