*TRIGGER WARNING: suicide*
"Goodbye, Internet." Dan Howell spoke into the camera. The camera blinked its red light back at him, telling him to end the video before the battery died. Dan stopped the recording and sat there in silence. The final video. No more Youtube. No more screaming fangirls. No more meet and greets. Nobody expected Dan's final video to be so soon, so it would be a surprise his fans, friends, and family. Not even Dan knew he would make this video. Then again, nobody knew Phil had died in a car crash just a few days before either. Dan hadn't told anyone about Phil's death. He knew that if he had, he would never finish his sentence without bursting into tears. After about 30 minutes of re-living the crash, Dan went over to his laptop and started editing the video. It started off with the usual "Hello Internet," but it had less enthusiasm than usual. Dan proceeded to explain what happened to Phil to the viewers as he held back tears. He also explained why he couldn't make videos anymore because he lost his best friend. His best friend, who never knew how Dan really felt about him.
It took Dan a lot longer than it usually did to edit this particular video. It took him a lot longer to do anything since Phil's death. He hasn't spoken to anyone since and people were starting to get worried. His notifications were filled with missed calls and text messages. As he finished editing the video, his phone started ringing. It was Louise. Dan let it ring a few times before answering.
"Dan?" Louise said over the phone.
"Hey, Louise." Dan tried to act as normal as possible.
"Nobody's heard from you or Phil since Monday. Are you guys okay?"
As soon as Dan heard Phil's name, he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He started to cry and couldn't stop. "N-no I'm n-not okay." he choked out.
Louise sounded worried. "Dan," she said, "Dan, what happened?"
"It's Phil. He-he's..." Dan couldn't say it. It broke him to even think about Phil.
"What's happened, Dan?" Louise demanded.
"He's dead, Lousie. He's gone. He died Sunday night."
And with that, Dan hung up the phone. His best friend was dead, and it was all his fault. He knew it was a bad idea to get behind the wheel drunk, but he and Phil were too intoxicated to care. Dan got up from where he was sitting after he uploaded the video and went into the bathroom, deciding he should shower since he didn't for a few days. He looked into the mirror. His face was paler than usual and his eyes looked tired as if he hadn't slept in days, which he hadn't. Dan opened the cabinet in the bathroom and found the bottle of painkillers. He looked into the mirror one more time, reliving what happened.
***
Dan woke up with a massive headache and blue and red lights all around him. He looked to his left and saw Phil passed out in the passenger seat.
Dan's eyes widened, "Phil?" he said. He got no answer. Just as he was about to say his name again, a police officer grabbed Phil and dragged him out of the car. Another one grabbed Dan and helped him out.
"Is he okay? What happened? What the hell happened?" He screamed at the police officer.
"Sir, please calm down. You were in a car crash. We're going to take you to the hospital," The police officer explained
Dan was rushed into an ambulance. It was then he realized exactly what happened. His eyes widened and tears started to fill his eyes. He also realized that his arm hurt like hell and someone was putting a cast on it.
At the hospital, Dan sat up on the bed while a woman was asking him random questions for about 30 minutes.
"Well Dan, you're free to go home for now so the police can investigate. If I were you, I'd check on your friend." The woman said as she left the room Dan was in. He got up slowly and winced because of his sore legs. He walked down the hallway until he reached Phil's room. He opened the door anxiously and walked over to Phil, who was hooked up to a machine. Phil's breathing was uneven and shaky, but at least he was breathing. Phil opened his eyes and saw Dan, who was now sat on the stool next to the bed, holding his hand.
"Hey Dan," he said quietly.
"Hey Phil," Dan said with a small, forced smile, "I'm so sorry Phil I-"
Phil cut him off, "Don't apologize, Dan. We were both drunk." Phil realized Dan had tears in his eyes. He reached up and wiped a tear that had fallen on Dan's cheek, "Don't cry. I'm okay," Phil assured Dan with a smile.
Dan chuckled and leaned in to hug Phil. When Dan pulled away, their faces were close.
"Dan?" Phil whispered.
"Yeah?" Dan asked.
"There's something I've always wanted to tell you," Phil paused, listening to his heartbeat that filled the room, "Dan Howell, I-" the steady heartbeat was replaced with a long beep.
"Phil? What were you going to say? Phil?" Dan cried, desperately trying to wake his best friend. Doctors rushed into the room and pushed Dan out of the way. He was sat in the waiting room, hoping the doctors would start Phil's heart again and he and Dan would live happily ever after like they wanted. After a while, one of the doctors came into the waiting room and called Dan's name.
"Dan Howell?"
"Yeah, that's me," Dan walked up to the doctor.
"Phil Lester's heart was restarted, but he went into a coma. We can all hope and pray that he'll be alright, but I doubt he'll make it out alive. You should go back home and rest."
The doctor went back into the hallway, leaving an awestruck Dan standing there. He grabbed the bottle of painkillers he was given and left to go home. He walked home since the hospital wasn't far. He wished he would've done that to begin with instead of getting in that car. When Dan finally got home, he didn't get that much rest. He was woken up every two hours or so by a nightmare about losing Phil. But that wasn't gonna happen, right? Phil would be fine.
When Dan finally got some sleep, he was rudely awakened by his phone ringing. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the phone to see who it was. It was the hospital. The doctor told him Phil was dead.
***
Dan looked back down at the bottle of painkillers. He took all of the pills at once and sat back down, knowing he'd go to sleep and never wake up in a few minutes. He grabbed his phone and pulled up twitter. He has thousands of notifications from his fans regarding his latest video. He looked at all the tweets. Everyone was upset and grieving. All because of him. Dan used his last bit of energy to send one last tweet.
Goodbye Internet. This was the most fun I've ever had.
***
(AN: So... this was my first fanfic and it gave me the feels writing it. I hoped you enjoyed it, person reading this. <3)
