After we filmed the YouTube video we arrived at the hotel. Tomorrow was our break day so we were staying in a hotel.
*next day*
warning this may be triggering for some people
I woke up at 2pm.
I went on Twitter and I tweeted out good morning. I saw this hashtag trending called #whywehateemmahasting
I decided to click on the hashtag and see what people were saying. I already got hate but I ignored it but it was hard to ignore it cause I'm not good at ignoring stuff. I went threw the hashtag and I was crying by now. One tweet said " Emma's a slut she only likes Zach cause of the fame" . Thoughts were running threw my head. Do people really hate me this much? No one actually likes me. Why am I even here? I called Zach.
"Hi Emma"
"Um hi Zach"
"What's wrong Emma?"
" I just wanted to say Thank you Zach... "
"Emma what's wrong?!?"
"Bye Zach" I hung up.
I went to the bathroom and I locked the door. I looked myself in the Mirror and I inhaled in and out. I grabbed my razor and I cut myself and then I did another one until I heard Zach banging on my bathroom door.
"Emma please open the door!!" I then heard Nick and Loren.
"What's wrong Zach ?"
"Emma called me and she was acting strange and now she won't open the door."
"WHAT?!?" I hear Loren saying now crying.
I cut myself again for giving people pain.
"Emma please answer and unlock this door.." Loren says crying.
"EMMA PLEASE!!" Zach says crying. I was crying on the floor and my wrist is bleeding badly. I decided I am gonna unlock the door.
Zach fell to the floor once he saw me and I cried more once I saw his reaction I went and hugged him. " I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry im sorry" I kept repeating while I was in Zachs arms crying. I look up and I see Loren crying and her hands on top of her mouth. Nick called Maddie over because he knew Maddie could help. Maddie walked in.
"Can I talk to Emma alone please" Maddie says. Nick walks out of the room. I get up and go hug Loren because she was crying.
"Loren I'm fine don't cry.."
"Emma I love you don't do that again"?she says
I let go and go sit on the edge of the bed. Maddie sits beside me.
"Emma we have been threw this if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here no matter what-"
"But that's the thing I don't know how to tell people how I'm feeling. I don't even tell my mom how I feel."
"Emma I'm exactly like you. You are like a mini version of me. You are like my little sister and if anything happened to you I would die. You shouldn't hurt yourself because of a hashtag"
"How did you know it was the hashtag?"
"Because I saw your phone..."
Zach walked away.
"It's not just the hashtag it's everything. It's all to much to handle the hate that I get for dating Zach the hate I get for being friends with you guys... I just can't"
"Emma we love you so fucking much" Loren says sitting on the edge of the bed on the other side of me. I got a notification from Twitter I open the notification
Bruhitszach: whoever tweeted in the hashtag should be ashamed of themselves. #whyweloveemmahastings because she makes me smile on my worst days...
Bruhitszach: tweet in that hashtag why you love Emma. #whyweloveemma she is amazing. She means the world to me and I'm thankful I know her.
I closed my phone.
"I'm sorry I put you guys threw all this" I say tearing up.
"No Emma stop this is what friends are For they are supposed to stick by you no matter what your situation is. We love you Emma so much."
"I love you guys too but I think I'm gonna take a nap." I say even though I just woke up. I needed alone time.
"Okay we will be in the boys room."
I got another Twitter notification.
Bruhitszach: thank you for the real ones...:)
I love zach so much he makes me so happy.
I kept thinking about Zach and then I drifted off to sleep...
