Delirious

Chapter One

"Ebba!" My boyfriend yells from the other room. I sigh and continue digging through the nightstand drawer. Rooting quickly through all of odds and ends collected in the space, I know if I don't hurry up, Jae will get angry with me. 

"Ebba!!" He yells louder. 

"I'm coming," I call back. The sound of conversation sounds from the living room as Jae is distracted by his company. My heart races faster as I grab two small bags of powder. Entering the adjoining bathroom, the pressure in my chest becomes a bit uncomfortable. Jae and I have been together for two years. We spend most of our weekends this way, having a few friends over to our apartment to have a good time; to have a drink and do a little coke. I had never done drugs before Jae, but I certainly don't regret it. I have always been uptight and nervous about next to everything. Drugs seem to help me deal with my constant anxieties and just loosen up a little bit. Even Jae agrees that I'm a better me when I'm high. Plus, I like the way it feels to lose touch with reality. 

A cluster of needles sit clumped on the bathroom sink, are these the clean ones? I grab them quickly and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, causing me to falter. I look gaunt and pale. 

Placing the needles back down on the sink counter, I hear Jae call for me again but I don't respond. He can wait a few minutes. If he wanted it so badly, he would have gotten it himself. I run the water in the sink and splash my face a few times to try and bring a bit of color to my face. I had never been a particularly pretty girl but Jae told me I don't need to impress anyone, I've already got him, so what's the point? Even though that's true and he has a very good point, I would still like to look pretty. Those girls that walk down the strip mall always look so beautiful. I get so jealous of them, but I would never let on to Jae. He would think I was being stupid. 

"Ebba!" 

"I'm coming, I'm sorry," I call back, grabbing the capless needles and heading back into the living room. 

Jae is sitting on the moss green couch in the center of the hollow room, his feet propped on the coffee table. The blinds are drawn shut, blocking out the only sunlight from outside.

"Give me some of that," He says, both him and his friend sitting up and grabbing the things I had gathered from the other room.

"Let's do a speedball," The dark haired boy sitting beside him says, filling up his needle with a small amount of water. 

"Sure," Jae says, emptying the two packets of cocaine and heroin onto the table carefully. 

I move over towards the mirror hanging on the wall as the two boys prepare to shoot up. I notice my breath becoming short as I watch my reflection. I fight a pain in my chest and try to convince myself that it is nothing. 

"Babe, did you want one?" Jae offers, tying the rubber band around his upper arm. His veins become prominent in his arm and he goes to line up his needle with the blue lines.

The crushing feeling in my chest becomes too much. My eyes widen in the mirror and my vision clouds quickly with black. I tumble onto the floor in a heap.