I've seen things that would scar you for life . I deal with peoples bullshit everyday . I hang with the people that hurt me the most , but yet I stay. I don't know if I can take this anymore . If only others could feel my pain and walk a mile in my shoes . I've been heartbroken , but just for once I wanna be the heartbreaker . I just don't understand why people like to hurt me . . . . . .
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
As I let the hot water hit my body , I sing "Beware" by Big Sean . That song really explains me right about now . Going through a heartbreak is hard until you go through it so many times . I'm pretty use to it .
Yeah I know what your wondering , am I a hoe ? No I still have my V-card . I'm hoping to keep it to . For a while .
Rayan is who I'm currently dating right now , we call him ray or ray-ray for short . I fucking hate him . I just wanna leave this relationship . But I can't . He won't let me go .
He abuses me , threatens me , cheats . I can't take it . Yes I've tried to sneak away but I got caught . He beat the spirit out of me . I stay wearing make up to hide the marks . Out of all the boys I've dated he's the worst.
To be honest , I think the only reason he cheats is because I'm not giving up anything . He is actually to scared to take my virginity , there for he cheats . He does threaten to take it . But I know he won't .
" Y/N ! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE" . I hear as I turn the water off .
I get out and grab my dry tile . The floor is really wet , so I try and tip toe on the carpet .
"WAIT ! I HAVE TO GET MY CLOTHES ON !" I yell as I run on the carpet to my room . I hurry and get my panties and bra on . I put on my white pajama shorts , that said in colorful letters "LOVE" everywhere . Then I put on my white t shirt that in big bold letters said "LOVE" .
I exited the room and ran down stairs . As soon as I hit the last step , I felt two hands push the side of my arm . I felt my face touch the ground .
"GET UP YOU STUPID BITCH!" I heard Rays loud , angry voice yell .
I got up and put my hand against the cheek that hit the floor . A tear started making its way down my smooth but hurt cheek .
"Why the hell would you do that ?! I said in anger , making sure not To yell so I won't get hit again .
I guess my voice was to high for him still , because he slapped me across my face .
"BITCH ! WHO THE HELL YOU YELLING AT !" He yelled
"I didn't even yell." I said trying to stay calm .
"Answer my damn question ." he said moving his lips and hardly his teeth .
"No one . damn ." I said scared than a mother trucker .
"You damn right you ain't talking to no one. Now go make me some food." he said while pointing to the kitchen .
I stared at him for about 5 seconds and then walked away to the kitchen.
God I hate him . I'm gonna find away to leave his ass if it's the last thing I do . . .
____________________________________________________
Sorry for any mistakes
-Mari (mar-ree) 💕