What starts must end. The sun must set after it rises, and I must say a goodbye after each hello. It didn't make the goodbye any easier, but the job was still done.
• • •
"Kyla..." he says longingly.
"No. Save your words, I know what this comes down to. You promised me it wouldn't but you and I both know that I know all too well the sound of 'Goodbye' when I hear it. So just save it. I know you love her, and she doesn't love me.
I want you to be happy, and I stand in the way of that."
He looked even more sad, his eyes gazing up with tears.
"I'm not going to do that to you. You love the girl, go for the girl. I'll be alright. I promise you I will."
"I love you..." he choked out.
"But not enough to choose me, right Cley?"
A tear dropped heavy onto his face, but it wasn't enough to deter me from the truth.
"You've been by my side when I needed you most. She's getting what she wanted- me gone It was her or me and we both knew it would be me. I know you love me, but love isn't enough to save this one. "
Love is never enough, I think to myself. My whole family is a fraud of arguments behind closed doors but outside it's smiles and hugs. I know first hand love is never enough.
He looked up at me from the tears in his eyes, waiting.
"Goodbye, Cley", I said in more of a hush then I meant and walked away.
• • •
It's said there's a place called Neverland where children stay young forever. No one died, no one cries. Though I was not one to believe, I wondered if friendships stayed young as well. No end, no goodbye.
• • •
"You know Kyla, no one ever told you but your selfish! You only care about you, and how things effect you. Can't you think about someone else for once in your life? You don't always have to be number one, but you want to be don't you? You were never someone's top priority and you wish you were don't you?"
I avoided her harsh stare. We both know she's right, but if we know the problem, where's was the solution?
"I can't do this anymore!", she cried out. The lack of life in her suggested her statement was true.
I sighed.
"Goodbye, mi amor.", I say letting go of tears as I walk away.
We could've fixed it. We could've fixed anything life threw our way. Except we still wouldn't have survived. Because this wasn't Neverland.
• • •
I never cared where I stood on Earth or who I was. Those were pointless questions which could be answered by literally anyone. I didn't think not to associate with someone because they were "upperclass". I thought not to associate with someone I was not good enough for. If I was not good enough for myself how could I ever be good enough for someone else?
• • •
Ever since I had to leave Alma I knew better then to trust people. This wasn't the time or place to trust someone. I was quiet, but no one minded. Maybe they felt the same as Alma?
Maybe they didn't care enough to ask.
Either way I lived in a hush and that didn't bother me.
I had no lover, but sometimes when it was late at night and I was cold, I'd think a boy from school.
He was tall, with bullet black eyes I might see my reflection in, if I was ever close enough to him to see. In the distance you could hear his laugh, it was strong and pure. I longed for him but I'd known the truth all along; he would never stay by me.
So I never said 'Hello.'
