"Dalton, bakit puro plastic ang gamit mo dito sa bahay? Well bukod sa mga appliances." tanong niya sa akin.
"Ah, nakasanayan ko na. And I somehow hate stuff made of glass." I shrugged. And it made me remember Chienna, I told myself.
"Why?" she asked me. I think it's time for me to tell her everything.
The first time I brought Chienna to my house, is the first time I learned about her situation. I still remember the call I received from her before it all happened.
"Hello Chie?"
"...."
"Umiiyak ka na naman ba?"
Hindi na mabilang kung ilang beses kami nagkausap sa phone ni Chie. And I knew her better behind the phone, behind all those calls. She's the most honest when we have cable wires between us. She's like my mirror, we always need barriers to keep us from others, from the world. Instead, we share this space that we built.
At alam kong umiiyak na naman siya ng mga panahon na yun. Ilang minuto na at hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita.
"Umm.. gusto mo bang pumunta dito? Susunduin kita."
"...."
"Chie..?"
"umph.." pagsang-ayon niya.
That night, she told me everything. She always cry on the phone but she didn't cry in front of me, not even once. And this is what I'm scared of, behind the phone, she didn't have her walls. Para akong pilit na pinagdadala ng malaking bloke ng yelo sa likod ko, ang bigat sobra. I wonder how she managed keeping her plate on balance. I gained her trust, and I loved her more than before. But this pain is unbelievable.
Maaga ako laging gumigising para linisin at itapon ang mga basag na gamit sa sala ko. Yes, this is Chie's doings. I reminded myself again... to change all my stuff from glass to plastic. Pagkatapos kong maglinis ay tatabi ulit ako kay Chie sa kama at magpapanggap na kagigising ko lang.
"Good morning Dalton."
"Good morning Chie." she always give me that genuine smile, it somehow made me forget what happened the night the before. When she was fighting with her demons, when she was shouting and throwing everything she sees.
"Late mornings together, check!" sabi niya. It's one of those dreams we talked about every 1 A.M. We always guess what our future will look like, together. "What about the late nights? These past few days feeling ko ang aga kong nakakatulog." nag-pout siya.
It is because of the sleeping pills. I can't tell her that.
"Marami pang panahon." sabi ko sa kanya.
"Talaga? Promise mo yan ha?"
"Promise."
She's getting worse as the days passed.
"AYOKO NA AYOKO NA! WAG MO AKONG HAHAWAKAN! WAG! TAMA NA! TAMA NA!" ganito siya tuwing gabi, pag naaalala niya yung mga bagay na sumira sa kanya.
"Chie, ako to si Dalton..." lumapit ako sa kanya. At nasa sulok pa din siya habang hinahagis sakin ang mga bagay na nakapatong sa lamesa ko. Napapalunok ako tuwing naririnig ko ang pagwawala niya. Naiimagine ko lahat nang nangyari sa kanya. How frightened she was when she was raped by her uncle. And how devastated she was when her big sister committed suicide for the same reason.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA... HAHAHAHAHA... ATE, PATAY NA SIYA! PATAY NA SIYA! HAHAHAHA...."
Karma is a real bitch, that their uncle died because of some disease not too long ago. If not, I will be the one who will kill him. He's lucky he's already dead. But this didn't make Chie feel any better, it's the opposite.
