Life.

Well I'm just a person. You, well you must just be a person too. People are different and people are strange and people are interesting and people are mad and people are just people. I'm not exactly sure what point I'm trying to get across here but you see that people can be everything. I know that I, as a person, haven't experienced everything in this world but I have experienced some things. I've experienced happiness and I've experienced sadness. Sadness. Well sadness is something that I know can creep up on you or smack you in the face or lurk in the distance. It can smother you and drown you and never let you go. Sadness can be the end of you. I have been sad and when I became sad one time that sadness stayed for a while, and although it wasn't always strong it was still there. Sometimes you don't even realise that you're sad. Depression, is that not what it's called? When you're sad, oh so sad, and that sadness won't go away. It can be hard to notice because when you get so sad you just become used to it. My friend is sad. My friend is sad for many more reasons than I was and that makes me even more sad. You don't realise sometimes how much you have and how much you don't have. My friend is so sad that they have planned out how they would die, how they would kill themselves. My friend tells me of their sadness, of their anger, their frustration, their loss of hope and care. I am their friend but they say they have no friends and that makes me feel sad. My friend has come so close to breaking point but they are already broken. I know what it is like to be broken yet feel like you are breaking still, but I do not know what it is like to be in my friend's shoes. I do not wish to be in my friend's shoes but I do not wish for anyone to have to be in their shoes for their shoes is a very bad place to be in. I get so scared. My friend says things to me that they don't say to anyone else and it scares me. They shouldn't be thinking these things that they tell me. They shouldn't be telling me that they want to die and that they know how they will kill themselves. They shouldn't be making me promise that I won't tell anybody because if I do they will never forgive me because that is just wrong and it scares me. I don't want to lose my friend but just now it seems like I already have in a way. They seem so distant sometimes then suddenly they'll send a message and act like nothing was wrong. I know something was wrong and is wrong and will probably always be wrong. I can't stand it. Sometimes I just cry. I cry because I am sad. I cry because my friend is sad. I cry because other people that I don't even know are sad. Somewhere right now somebody is being bullied, somebody is being abused, somebody is frantically trying to get help, somebody is going out of their mind. So many people and so many different things happening. It's scary. I don't like being scared but it happens and it's okay to be scared. I don't know where I'm going with this but maybe I don't need to go anywhere else. There's so much I want to say but if I say it all in one go it might not come out right. I don't know. I just don't know.