The Rhythm And The Rest

Confusion

"Turner! Aren't you excited too start middle school! We get too do more cool things and learn about health"
Hazel gently nudged my shoulder and gave me a "look".

"Can we not?" I respond in dismay, but I still let out a hushed giggle.

We finally made it through elementary school, Hazel after all, moved closer too my house so it was only conventional she attended the same school as me. I'm not Kvetching , I always liked having Hazel around after all, she is my best friend.

Everyday she told me she promised me that we would be best friends forever, and that was what i found so winsome and dormant about her. She protected me throughout the years, now hopefully she won't need too at Vex junior high.

"What classes do you have and which hours" she urgently replies.

"First hour, Social Studies
Second hour, pre algebra
Third hour, science
Fourth hour. Language arts
Then lunch...." I reply hesitantly.

"Fifth hour, another hour of language
Sixth hour, physical education
Seventh hour, modern technology"
I say in cheerful tone, hoping Hazel had some of my classes.

"I have your first hour, second, your lunch,sixth, and seven hour". She reacted excitedly. Im very euphoric that she is in most of my classes, but as for the other classes.

What am I going too do?

I didn't have any other friends, and I was very inhibited and couldn't even ask for a pencil when I needed one. I was going too have too upgrade my social circle, I don't need more torment regarding my lack of friends.

The thing is, I could already tell this school had a clique system, it's only my first day but I already see formations.
Girls who had some sort of "authority " and were admired by everyone, even the boys had that appeal. The "suck ups" where they do everything this can too be recognized in school clubs and teachers as good students.

Then there were the kids who didn't talk to anyone, but just sat and did there work, nothing out of the ordinary.

The kids who would probably bite you If you got 5ft within there radius.

The kids with semi colorful hair, who wore the same grey and black, and kept to themselves.

The various Loners who had a few friends but didn't really have a a recognizable group.

Then there was me, I didn't really fit the description of any of these groups, didn't seem like I was going to make any friends, we were all so different, I felt insecure.

I didn't know how a 5ft brown hair, blue eyed boy who uses vocabulary of an English major and only listens to 80's Rock and pop punk was going to make it here, my best bet is making friends with a teacher.

I've always felt very insecure about myself sense I was younger, just the thought of my picture being taken gave me anxiety.

Ah, great, anxiety.

My father had brought me in when I'd get really scared and dormant and it's start breathing really rapidly and freaking out during certain events.

Ultimately ended up finding out I have social anxiety disorder.

Now I was really freaking out. All of these kids could potentially rip me apart emotional and psychical, everyone was packed together and forced too work together was unsettling.

I couldn't do this.

"Turner!! The bell is going to start in 10 minutes, we should try and look for our class"

"UHHH, I believe Mr.lightson is our social studies teacher, in room 214" she replied fastly.

She starts jogging and I reluctantly jog up next too her.

I happened too take up soccer and baseball over the years, so my agility and energy for physical activity got better. Hazel actually encouraged me too in the first place, after all, she played soccer herself and was ultimately interested, at least I was somewhat fit now.

We begin jogging down the much more abundant hallways then we were used too. Turning hallways, running into absent classrooms, it was actually fun.

I was actually smiling in the midst of being petrified of this place.

Now I was in utter confusion.

I actually am excited too start this new unfamiliar year, as long as I was with Hazel.

I was fine with anything this world had to throw at me.