As I spin around in hopeless circles, I realize that I'm lost. I have nothing left of myself. No respect, no chastity, and no hope. I've lost myself in a whirlpool of something that just happened. I know I can never be the same, but it makes me feel useless. I feel used, worthless, unwanted and trashed. My blackened heart forever spoken for, by a creature who posesses none himself. In my dreams, an emotionless, cold entity rises in my place, and I see myself fading away into the background; into nothing. What I have cherished about myself for my whole life, what I'd hoped someday would attract a man who could love me, is gone. Taken by something I couldn't even call half of a man. I turn to nothing, left with a feeling so empty and unfillable that what is approaching, is what I've always been most afraid of. I'm afraid I'm giving up.
