Aubade

Packing

Riley knew she had to pack. As a matter of fact, she wanted to pack. But some force was keeping her from moving from the light-flooded window seat. It was so quiet, so peaceful, and in that brief moment everything was right in the world.
Until her mom walked in.
"Riley Rose Lancaster!" Ugh, Riley quietly thought. Full name; I'm too old for that. "You have barely even touched your bags! You do realize we'll be gone for a month, two shirts aren't enough."
"I never said I was done. Jeez, mom." Regret bloomed in her chest as those words rolled out. They felt childish. Her mom rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall.
"You know, I'm second guessing my confidence in you being ready for college,"
"Ha. Well at least I won't have to deal with you walking in to my room without knocking and then scolding me. You treat me like a kid!" The cliché sound of what she had just said made Riley want to cringe. She tried to let out some kind of laugh, but it ended up sounding like a sob. Her mom reached out for her sympathetically, but Riley quickly moved away.
"Nope. Not today. I do not need you to comfort me, I think the best way you could help right now is by leaving, thank you very much." Her mom hesitantly stepped out the doorway, leaving Riley alone. She took a deep breath and assessed her situation. They were leaving at six a.m. tomorrow morning, which meant she had the rest of today. It was only four thirty. She could do this, no problem. She tightened her ponytail and kneeled down by her drawers and started.
***
By dinnertime, Riley had finished. They had cleared all food out of her house for vacation, so her dad went to get pizza. She sat at the small kitchen table, lightly tapping her foot as she scrolled through Instagram. Samantha, a girl in Riley's algebra class, was in Paris. It looked beautiful, but Samantha just would not shut up about it. She posted seven pictures from the top of the Eiffel Tower, and she posted a picture of her latte from a Parisian cafe every single morning. It was annoying. And Alexa, Riley's best friend, was in the Bahamas all summer. Alexa's family chose one place to go every year, and were there all summer. That meant that Riley never got to see Alexa in the summer, which was painful to say the least. Riley sighed. Why did everyone have to go across the world for a summer vacation? In all of her eighteen years, Riley had never left the U.S. That was mostly due their situation with money when Riley was younger. When Riley was twelve, her younger brother Noah died of lung cancer. It was hard, because at that time her mother was a stay-at-home mom and her father made all the money with his job as an architect. Because of their... Situation, her father decided to take a family leave for a few months to help Noah with all of his hospital visits. After Noah was declared cancer free, her father went back to work. Everything went right for a few months. Until Noah's cancer relapsed. The medications barely worked, and everyone secretly knew he was slipping, but at the same time stayed unrealistically hopeful. I remember my mother shaking me awake at two a.m. and telling me that we had to go to the hospital. As soon as she stepped into the light and I saw her puffy red eyes and sniffly nose, Riley knew something was terribly wrong. She wasn't sure what happened next, it was a blur and always has been. She remembers the beeps of machinery and her father's tired, worried face. He had clearly been crying, like her mother. Her father never cried. She wondered why she hadn't cried yet, why the sorrow hadn't hit. She also remembered the hurrying, worried doctors rushing around. But, most vividly, she remembered Noah's lifeless body. It was just how she imagined it; his bald head, his hospital gown, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. His chest wasn't moving. The last thing Riley remembered from that night was then leaning against the wall as she slid down to the floor, crying ugly sobs. The focused doctors who walked by barely glanced at her. She must of fallen asleep because the last thing she remembered was waking up in her parents' bed as they watched Full House. Both of their arms were wrapped around her. When her mom noticed she was awake she squeezed Riley's shoulder and forced out something of a smile. Her fa-
"Riley?" Her father's voice snapped her out of her daze.
"Sorry," She muttered as she ran up to her room. She hopped onto her bed and pulled out her laptop and logged on to We Heart It. She loved the website, looking at photography always took her mind off things. She had been meaning to get into photography for a while but never found the time. She glanced across the room at her Polaroid camera that hung on her closet doorknob. She had never once touched it. She stood up and grabbed it. Since she hadn't used it, it was still full on ink and paper. Riley hesitated for a moment then realized it couldn't hurt. So she unzipped a pocket of her duffel bag and stuffed the camera inside.
Now she was done packing.