The Girl Who Can't Shed Tears

            The world forgot me.

It forgot that I still exist. It forgot that another girl, out of millions of others, lives. It never added a number to the total number of girls in this world, not even in the total number of people. It just went on pinning the sun and the moon in the sky without even stopping to count me in the world’s total population when I was born, not even till now.

            I’m a shadow.

I disappear in bleak sunlight. People still can’t see me clearly even in the abundance of light. They don’t sense me come and go. I feel like a ghost because of it, and I wish I were, because when people see ghosts, they remember their encounter with it for as long as lifetime, but not for their encounter with me. They vaguely remember me and as often as always, forget me. They forgot that somehow, in the brightest shade of light, lays the darkest shadow.

            I am left behind.

I am left behind so often that sometimes, it would no longer be an accident. I was left by friendship. It never allowed me to have circles of friends. Happiness left me too. I’m but a student who always comes early to the station and then after hours of waiting, gets rejected by the train. Bountiful life never came to me. Love didn’t lay a finger on me. Cupid won’t shoot me. The spotlight didn’t even dare come near me. Now, I am but a girl left in the shadows, unnoticed, rejected, and unwanted.

             Now, I’m trained by these pains.

I won’t let pain touch me until success gives me hand. I won’t let agony strike me lest happiness will cheer me up. I won’t be heartbroken till love will no longer forbid me to appreciate and admire people. I won’t let sadness curve my lips down until joy makes me smile. And most of all, I won’t shed tears without experiencing these all.

            I AM THE GIRL WHO CAN’T CRY. I CAN’T SHED TEARS. I WON’T LET MY TEARS FALL. NEVER.