The Moment

Part 1

"I've just about had enough of you," my step mother yells from my doorway as I look from a video I was proofing to her. I have a presentation tomorrow, which I hope that I don't fail because of the amount of disturbances that I've received while working on it the last week or so. I haven't seen my step mom since last night, but she's still angry at me. I don't understand why, I made a single mistake. I went into her room to get my charger when she wasn't home so I could keep texting her while she was angry at me still.

I know that she loves me, and she's said to me that she would sooner leave the house with her sons before kick me out. I wouldn't take that, though. If she left, I knew my dad would be miserable. And if I left, then I knew he'd survive, because he'd already lived without me once. So I start packing my things in the suitcase that I'd brought here from my mom's house with all my clothes, and things that I think I'll need, obviously leaving behind plenty of things like my porcelain that I know will break if I bring with me. While I do this, my step mom fuels my anger by lecturing me about everything I've done wrong all my life and why she shouldn't have to deal with me, especially after she pushed me to leave all those years ago.

"Honey, calm down," my dad begs his fiancée to stop yelling at me, and I know that he doesn't want me to leave, so I feel bad. But it has to be done, it's either him or me. And I won't let him choose -- that's why I'm leaving. All I want is for him to be happy. But my step mother doesn't get that, as she just continues to yell and scream at me as my father begins to cry. Our cat jumps up on my bed from hiding under my desk per usual, and lays down on my packed suitcase as I tidy up the room, throw the rest of my stuff in a few boxes, and leave the room as I had found it. At some point, my step mom stops yelling and just stares at me, either waiting for me to leave or being done her never-ending rant, or both. I make sure everything is neat and organized, and walk out the doorway passed them. 

All my things packed and in-hand, neither try to stop me as I put on my shoes and Old Navy sweater and pull out my monthly bus pass from my backpack to keep in my pocket. I walk out the front door for probably the last time and down the street towards my usual bus stop. I get a few questioning looks on the way there and while I am waiting for the bus as I try to figure out where to go. My ex-turned-best friend Niall would never let me stay there, Harry hasn't spoken to me since we broke up, and Julie could never afford it. Eventually, I just let my legs take me where they wanted.

The wait from stop to stop, bus to bus, and location to destination feels longer today than every other day I take this route, and that comes as no surprise to me. Today is not a normal day, I'm not with all my friends that I usually am, and I know that there's no going home after today. And that's all I think of as I sit at the very back corner of my second bus, knowing it'd be a long ride to the other side of the city. Once there, and after making a deal with the cashier at the corner store, I gain a place to sleep across the street from my school. Even though it's fairly popular, that might be a good thing so I won't be suspicious if I go in there or walk out at a weird time.

The following day, I sit on my own in the halls. I don't want to be there, but it was too close to exams to not go to school. I'll just drop out after this semester, and get a job, since I'm 16. But for now, I'll just lay low and pretend all is okay. Getting people involved in my problems isn't really my forte, since I've been dragged into other peoples' selfish problems so much in my life. But my plan never works on these days, because my ex-turned-bestfriend always finds me on these days. 

"What are you doing over here today?" He asks me, laughing. He's not the most sensitive boy I know, but he still knows me better than anyone else. And when I try to make an excuse that I'm just really tired, he knows me better than that. It wasn't a lie, but he could see that I'm not telling him the whole story. "If you're tired, you usually just sleep on someone, why are you actually here?"