Treat You Better (Shawn Mendes FanFic)

Chapter 33 Treat You Better

Chapter 33 Bella's POV:
This past week has been a wreck for me. I thought I would heal, but I didn't. Instead I think have gotten worst. I can't stop thinking about Shawn. He will not escape my head. I get so stuck sometimes and I panic to not know how to help myself. I told him everything. Things I never told Lucas because the trust I had with Shawn could never compare to anything. I was walking with Lucas around the park. We were holding hands, but I didn't feel like anything to me. I feel nothing when I'm around him now.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah why?" I lied.
"You seemed off this past week." He responded stopping moving his body in front of me.
"Please talk to me." He leaned down trying to get me to look into his eyes, but when I did I didn't see his eyes. I saw Shawn's.
"I'm okay." I cracked a fake smile. He put his head down as I noticed his face dropped.
"Hey you okay?" I questioned him as he began to shake his head. I became a little concerned hoping he was okay.
"I changed to late." He responded. I titled my head.
"Lucas-"
"It's unfair for me to do this to you. I should have thought about, but I didn't." He added as I stood there quietly.
"I had you're heart once Bella, but I lost it a long time ago." His eyes closed as he took a deep breath.
"I can see it on your face when you talk to me. I can feel you're not okay, and it's unfair for me to keep you with me." He explained.
"I love you Bella. I do, and I'm sorry for the way that I was, but Shawn treated you better than I did. He made you happy, and I know you fell in love with him because I wish you can look at me the way you looked at him. I want you to be happy because you deserve to be happy. You of all people. So go." He stopped as I finally looked him the eye.
"Go with him Bella. Because I know he's lost without you. So go, go be with him." He let go of my hand as he had a small smile on his. It had pain in it, and heart I could feel finally beating again. I leaned in giving him a hug. As I held onto him tight. I gave my heart to him a long time ago, but it's time for me to go. I pulled away knowing he has changed and I hope he finds someone who will love him for who he is now.
"I know you'll find your forever Lucas. Because the way you are now any girl would be so lucky to be with you." I leaned and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. As I could tell he was gonna be devastated on letting me go. He lifted my hand to his lips as he kissed it. He slowly let it go as I turned and walked away. I began to run knowing I can't wait to go home and pack my bags and escape. I find peace with myself. I can't wait to see Shawn. To see his smile, his face, his eyes, and I can't wait to hear his voice. I guess all I needed was to be told that it was okay to go. And Lucas gave me that. I know I'm okay now, I know that my decision is valuable and it's one that I'm okay with. Thinking about him gives me butterflies even though I have seen Shawn over a thousand times. I wish I had Noah here with me, so I can let him know I'm finally gonna be happy. I hope he is too. I really do because Noah is a great he really is. And I felt like I held him back and thinking he is okay and that he might actually be happy makes me realize that finally he can live his dream. Not having to be trapped. I took my phone out as I dialed johns number. I'm hoping he won't ignore my call, but I hope when he sees me call he thinks it's something very important. He picked up the phone as I could hear him chewing on something.
John: Bella?
Me: JOHN! Thank goodness I thought you weren't gonna answer!
John: what do you want?
Me: where are you?
John: with Shawn. Why?
Me: okay I know you're with him, but where at?
John: why should I tell you? You broke his god damn heart and not caring about it.
Me: of course I care about it. I think mine broke worst.
John: can you please tell me what you want?
Me: I'm gonna see him. I need to. I really do John.
John: why should I hear you out?
Me: FOR GOD-SAKE JOHN! I LOVE HIM! Okay? I do, and I need him. If you cared about Shawn then you would understand where I'm coming from. I'm gonna make things right and I need your help please.
John: shit! You really irritate me Bella. I'm doing this for him not you.
Me: that's fine.
John: alright what do you need help with?