The story of Jonathan Vol.1

Time to think

Jonathan sits in the living room, snow all over the floor small mounds and hills of it.  He's sitting in a single arm rest chair, currently unsure if Asmodeus is with him now or not.  He sees his hands slowly covering with frost, but he doesn't feel it, he doesn't know if he's alive or dead.

He got up and started to walk to the broke through wall window,  he thinks to himself, how can he possibly get rid of these demons.  What can he really do, and how can he save Megan..

Only two things are truly on his mind tho, but he has no idea how to clear them out.

He looked out into the cold calm dark night, the only bit of light being shared by the moon.  He looked up and then down, standing on the edge of the floor, inches away from rocks snow and freezing water streams. 

He thinks to himself about leaving...

Not like abandoning Megan, just.  Leaving the world he walks, how it would feel.  He starts to think about how everyone has there time to leave the world, and realizes, He's past his times due.  And if he's wrong, how can this be fate, there is a path of the riotous and the path of the lost.  The lost can be consumed by any kind of evil.. Like Darkness, Greed, Lust, and even Insanity..

He's obviously been walking the path of the unholy.  Does that mean he's the bad guy?  Can destiny be written in darkness?

"Maybe Insanity is right, My life here is a mistake..."

But what if he was destined to be the unholy, what if Jonathan's fate is to be the bad guy in the story called life. 

Jonathan turned around and walked back to the living room, passing right next to the stair railing he walks around it to go upstairs and check on Megan.  He slowly walked to the right to the hallway approaching the door, He heard a soft voice.  He stood by the door face to face looking down at the floor listening, it was Megan, She was praying before she slept.  

"Please God, help me with my struggles, help us fight against this war against these demons. Give Jonathan and me strength to make it to the end, I believe in him.  Thank you for dying for the world and in Jesus's name, amen."

This tore Jonathan up inside even more, he felt the confession inside that he is the bad guy in this story; He thinks he may even be the root of it all.. He turns around and runs down the stairs.  How can this be, Megan truly is outing all her faith she has left in Him, he's carrying her burdens when he is unworthy and unclean.  Can the root of all mistakes evil and darkness really be forgiven?, can Jonathan really be given another chance?

Can he change who he is?

But.. If everyone can change who they are.

Then why is everyone themselves...

He still feels This is who he is and he refuses to be a false beacon of hope for someone who is lost way deeper in darkness than he himself is.

Jonathan ran to the wall window and stopped as close as he could to the edge, he raised his hands out on each end.  He felt something on his finger, he looked to the side and saw he cut it.  He didn't even feel it, he questioned himself if he was even human.  It seemed the more he looked, the more he began to make up his mind with ending it all. 

He closed his eyes.

and let go of his balance. 

The cold breeze and wind.

rushing through his face.

He slowly leaned forward.

To the snowy rocks he fell, with a smile on his face.  This moment in his life felt like the longest thing to ever happen to him, he hit the snowy rocks and silence.  He opened his eyes and felt the pain in his pack, he heard a voice from inside his mind, it was His mom again.

"You can't leave Jonathan.."

Asmodeus told him he must have made a deal with Jonathan when he shared bodies. 

"N-no that wasn't me! He made that deal with Jackson.. In the dream he had when he first met him not me.."

Asmodeus thinks he tricked Jonathan, cause he was asleep always when he was with Insanity, he was just the appearance Insanity had, he was like a costume.  If Jackson died.. That means... The deal was made with Jonathan not Him.

Jonathan stood up and felt something in his arm, he couldn't move it.  It was bruised down the middle and bleeding.  He probably broke it, he walked back up the river stream over rocks and boulders to avoid the snowy mountains. 

He felt tears run down his face, but didn't know why he was crying.  Does this mean he can never leave this world even if he tried, even if he waited for time to take its course. His life. Will never end...