Eliza's Open Diary

8-14-16

"I'm sorry Eliza, I can't describe how I feel for you.  I just can't.  I know what I feel and I'm pretty sure I know what I want but that's not going to happen.  Obviously.  I just...i..*sigh*  I don't know what to do or how to handle this situation currently.  I really like you cause you're really pretty, smart, kind, loving, goofy, weird, eccentric (in a good way), and just over-all an amazing person that I can't seem to take my mind off of.  That's part of why I go to your house so much too is that I want to spend as much time with you possible.  You're truly an incredible person Eliza and I admire you." That's what Serenity said tonight. There's no way we could work it out. There's no way we could be together. That's what she said. I don't know how I feel about that. I have deep feelings for her but both of our parents are terrible about anything associated with even the word gay or lesbian or any other sexualities. I understand where she's coming from but she earlier said she doesn't care about what her parents think about her. I don't know what to do. Sneaking around is I guess a possibility, but I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt of lying to my parents.

I found out that girls name. I kinda... stare at her any time I see here at school. I probably seem real weird to her.

In my art class there's this incredibly stupid and annoying guy who sits right next to me and his friend across from me. I literally hate him so much. I think to myself how I would beat the crap out of him. He wouldn't be expecting it. I've had to stop myself a couple times from actually doing it.

His friend that sits across from me keeps staring at me. I don't know if it's because he thinks I'm weird or cute or that I'm a decent artist or what but I don't know how to tell him to not. He's kinda good looking but annoying. It seems like he thinks his friend is as annoying as I do.

We (mom and I) went to open house and even more guys were staring at me. 3 guys from my life skills class stared at me. One of them whispered something to his dad and the dad looked back at me and smiled. My mom tried saying to me that one of them was kinda cute but I told her that I knew he was an annoying jerk. I'm very judge mental though I hate that I am.

I'm tired so I'm going to sleep.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
Sorry it's been so long just nothing really has happened. Plz leave advice and/or comments on my life. Thanks for reading this.