Help me!

CHAPTER ONE – PAIN

Nobody knew what was going on .Nobody knew the pain I felt. Nobody knew I was dying inside. I never said a word. No one could help me so why should I beg on my dry hands and knees for pity, so instead I put on a fake smile and let the world spin slowly by. As my mother dyed I was gripping her hand, begging her to stay. My tears spilled like rain coming down on a stormy day. Her last words to me were "hush, it will all be okay. I’m always with you, and I will love you always" I watched her bright blue eyes fade to stone, her hand became cold in my palm. Every single second I had shared with her passed across my mind. All those times I yelled I hate you, or went behind her back to do something she said was wrong but I believed was right. I couldn't make the tears stop, and all my regrets about when I didn't want see her. I still can not comprehend the fact that she is really gone. That i would never again see her all happy and giggly Never again would she wink at me when pretending to be pissed off at me in-front of my Dad. I will never see her beautiful smile again. I could not get over that she wasn't still here, and I thought this was all a big nightmare and that I would wake up and she would be living cancer free and happy as could be, And as I woke she would yell at me for crying over her. I missed her. I missed my dad too. I missed my grandma and my grandpa and my little dog loo. It's like my life has become a mass murder. Everyone I cared about, disappeared in a blink of an eye. It’s like my fingers were as poisones as a brown snake. Everything I touched perished. I was now alone. Although I have always believed there was light at the end of a tunnel. It was now time to be my own light through the darkness

My mum’s funeral was a couple of weeks later. As I said my last goodbyes , I told myself that  the tear that ran down my face was the last , that I would never have to cry again because nothing could be worse than this. I watched them lower my mum into the ground and before I knew it, I had left before the rest of the family would try and comport me. I may have ran, but my pain drew me somewhere I had never thought I would end up. I was now carrying the weight of my world. Throughout my life I had always hoped my mum would be there to help me on the way, to give me a helping hand , But that hope has been crushed I will never let anyone help me again . People always are asking me where my father is. Truth to be known I have no idea where he is. Once my mum got sick he vanished. I was left all alone watching my mum die day by day.

Chapter 2 – Hobos

 It had been a month since my mum’s funeral and I don’t know where I am. I am lost in myself. Things have begun to change with me. I am missing classes to go and hang out with the people that hang around the subway (as some people would call them hobos), but they are the people that make me feel alive. When my mum took me shopping I always use to watch the people smoke and take drugs. My mum said i would never become one of them, But my mum is gone now so what is there to loose. I continually visited my new friends, after about a week I begin to see this guy called Aaron. My old friend Lucy was telling me he wasn’t good enough for me. The thing is that’s what my mum use to say about every boy but now who is there to stop me. I am an 18 year old girl who is living with foster parents who don’t give a crap where I am. I can see and be with whoever I want to be with. In my life i had never had sex. i never thought about it either. i guess when my mum was alive i had someone to impress. So now i think i am Turing independent in my actions, some people may say they are not the right ones but i really dont give a shit, i took drugs without thinking . i drank for hours. i sleept in the street, and even stole to feed myself. 

chapter 3 - THE RAPE

One night Aaron asked me to stay at his house. Berfore thinking i said yes. all i keept thinking was that i have been sleepig on the streets a bed would be perfect. I turned up at his door with a bag of stuff i carry everywhere. When he opened the door he had his charming smile and voice on. as i walked through the door , my life what thn changed. i walked through a door to somewhones home who i offisially didnt know very well. All i remeber was he keept giving he drinks. At one point i had enought i told he i was alright and that i didnt want anywmore. He then grabed the back of my heah and pulled it down to the glas he told me that things alot worse would happen to me if i didnt drink it . so instead of fighting i just drank it. i should of known that the something wad going to be wrong with the drink, but i drank it anyways because my fear overrighted anything. i began to see things, everything was spinning. it was getting out of control.i think he spiked my drink. I wanted to leave, the streets were better than this. it got to about 2 in the morning, and things wernt gtting any better. Aaron told me that it was time for bed. at this point in time i was so drunk that i rally didnt hsve anycontrol in what i was saying so out came a big fat yes.  i was accompanied by him to his bed room. He was seconds latter ripping off of my clothes, one by one. About 2 minuted latter i was completly naked laying in his bed. i was so tired i keept falling asleep. everytime i did this i woke up with one more cut on my face.