TOM GATES-Exellent Excuses ( and other good stuff)

I

Wake up this morning and suddenly remember something absolutely 
BRILLIANT!
NO SCHOOl FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!!
I can forget ALL about lessons (and irritating things like Marcus Meldrew). And concentrate on GOOD stuff like:
- Inventing new ways to annoy my sister Delia (So many!)
-Drawing pictures ( that annoy Delia) Ha! Ha!
-Watching TV and eating caramel wafers.
-Eating caramel wafers and watching TV.
And most importantly...
Band practice for DOGZOMBIES
With Derek (who's my best mate and next-door neighbour ).Tonight we're planning a sleepover at his. Which is easy to do as he's so close.
One of the other great things about going to Derek's is he doesn't have a n annoying sister (like me) ...
... AND he has a dog called Rooster.
Which I know is a stupid name for a dog, but I'm getting used to it (sort of).
Sometimes Rooster can be almost as annoying as Delia. Especially when he won't stop BARKING! Occasionally Derek throws him a Doggy treats to shut him up.
But if that doesn't work, I give him a pair of Delia's sunglasses to chew I. It keeps him happy for HOURS. Right now I can hear Delia shuffling around outside my bedroom (which usually means trouble). So I LEAN on my door to stop her from barging in. Somehow she still manages to stick her BIG head around the door she says...
Ha! Ha! You're in trouble. Mum wants to see you RIGHT NOW ... LOSER. (That doesn't sound good ... groan.) I wish I could shut Delia up with a doggy treat ... how good would that be?
When I see Mum, she's holding a letter from school. I'm trying really hard to remember ANYTHING I've done that might have got me into trouble. No ... can't think of anything. Nothing at all. (I am innocent.) But by the way Mum is looking at me, in that What have you got to say for yourself? kind of way, i must have forgotten something. She gives me the letter to read.
OK, just remembered.

To Mr and Mrs Gates
RE: Ton Gates Dog Atack.        Dear Mr and Mrs Gates,

I do hope that Tom has recovered from the vicious dog that attacked him on the last day of term as he walked to school.

What luck that he had his schoolbook
to defend himself with.

I'm SO glad it was only his homework that was chewed and not Tom. Enclosed is ANOTHER copy of the HOMEWORK - to review a film/book/TV show - for Tom to complete again during his holiday.
Let's hope there are no other ANGRY beasts ready to pounce in the future!
Many thanks for your help.

Kind regards
Mr Fullerman
Class 5F Form Tutor

I am trying to explain to Mum what happened to me by reenacting the whole scene in slow motion. (There was no choice ... it was me or the homework.) But she's not impressed. I think she suspects I might have made up the dog attack (I did). Instead I have to agree to:
1.Do my review homework. (AGAIN.)
2.Not use vicious dogs as an excuse for lack of homework (or any other kind of creature, for that matter).
3.Tidy my room. (Mum added that one.) Still, at least I have
TWO WHOLE WEEKS To do the review homework in. Though I will probably leave it until the last possible moment, like the night before school. That works for me.
"NOW?What do you mean I have to do my homework right now? I've still got TWO WHOLE WEEKS!" Mum says, "There's no time like the present." Then she adds, "No sleepover at Derek's until you've done your homework."Which is an
DISASTER!
I have to think of something to review quickly.Mmmmmmmmm. Think ... think ... think ... think ... think...
If I don't think of something FAST Mum will keep me in the house FOREVER . Then just to add to the
PRESSURE, Derek phones up to find out what time I'm coming over for the sleepover and band practice.
I hear mum saying,
That all depends on how long it takes Tom to do his review homework Derek.
(That all I need.)