My Outlet

To You Though You'll Never See It

Letting you go was the hardest thing I have ever done. That hour long phone call was the worst thing I have ever gone through. I had to sit there and basically listen to you tell me that I wasn't enough anymore, that you wanted more. My love wasn't enough for you.

You completely broke my heart. You kept saying, "I don't want to hurt you." But yet that's exactly what you did. You who had pieced my heart back together began to reduce it back to the pile of broken pieces that it was when we met with every single word that came out of your mouth during that 52 minute phone call that you swore wouldn't be a break up call. Now I sit here and wonder how much of our relationship was lies and quite honestly, I'm afraid to know the answer.

  I look on your Tumblr page and see a post you re posted that says something along the lines of being afraid no one will ever fall in love with you. What the hell does that make me? I loved you. I still love you and I always will. You were my rock, my everything. You were my best friend. You were my past, present, and future. And now you're gone.

Yet I constantly check my phone for a text from you even though its been 2 ½ days of silence. Quite honestly I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm lost. I physically feel as if something is missing. Its like a void inside of me. A painful, jagged void of nothingness that flares in pain whenever I look at my pictures of you.

Yes I called us off. Yes this is my fault somehow probably. But I wasn't going to force you to stay with me when I had no longer become good enough