Well .. My dad's an asshole, being honest. He.. he hurt me so fucking much. He physically and mentally abused me from the ages of 4-8 and he left me after I told I mom after years of torment. He hurt me. So fucking much. He won me. He said I was special and he lied. He said I was going to become the singer and star and then he'd beat me to the ground. He drunk and was only interested in his dog and PlayStation 1. I enjoyed smashing that console. I laughed when he tried to come back into my life again. I'm better than him. So so much fucking better. But I get flashbacks. Of him hitting my pale skin and watching tons of 'purple love' appear over me. He said it was normal and that it was to teach me for the real world. And i guess he's right. I may not get physical bruises. But I take a beating. Every. Single. Fucking. Day.
And I can't escape him. He took my mind and soul when he left. I got to be me... it felt like I could be free. I built myself up from nothing. He hasn't had contact with me in over a year and he has a new girlfriend with a child. And im an outcast. He doesn't deserve me, but I want him to just love me. He had two sides. One was kind and loving but the other was a monster. He could change in a second and slam me against the wall or floor. Then he'd cuddle me and say he was sorry, and that he wouldn't do it again. He was crazy, and I was too. For letting him hurt me, and get in my head. He said I was his 'little slut' and a faggot. He was right. I'm nothing now, and I'm bisexual. I hope hes happy, because after what he did I'm surprised he can still smile.
YOU ARE READING
My past.
Non-Fictionthis is a book about me. you won't know the real me. nobody does. I went through shit. like everyone else. but now im older and the memories still stay and taunt me.
