1. The List

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I looked at my reflection for what felt like hours. I held the razor tightly in my hand. I didn't want to do this but I knew if I didn't, it'll get even worse. I was visibly shaking and I was on the verge of a breakdown. I took a deep breath in a turned on the razor. 

With shaking hands, I brought in to my head and started shaving my hair off. I did this until there was nothing left. I turned the razor off and set it down on the sink then looked down at the hair sprawled over the floor. 

My name is Kellin Bostwick, I'm seventeen, and I was diagnosed with stage three lung cancer. I know what you're thinking. 'Don't you need to smoke to get lung cancer?' The answer is no. I was born premature and have underdeveloped lungs. Having those plus living in a house where both your parents smoke really takes a toll. Well, not gonna lie, I have smoked some before. I regret it so much now.

Unfortunately, they didn't catch it in time so now it's spreading. My hair has been slowly falling out so I decided to get rid of the pain of it slowly falling out and shaved it all off. 

I grabbed my oxygen tubes and placed them in my nose. Almost instantly, I was able to breath a little better. It honestly sucked having to haul around an oxygen tank everywhere I went. That's why I rarely leave the house except for school. 

School was probably not a good thing for me to be doing with the condition I am. But It's my senior year so I decided I would push myself through it. I think the whole school knows about my condition but I don't really pay attention to their sympathy. 

I sighed and finally looked away from my reflection. I walked back into my room and laid down on my bed. I looked over to my clocked and noticed I still had twenty minutes until my mom had to take me to school.

I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my notebook. I sighed sadly as I flipped through the pages. In this very notebook was my relationship bucket list.  

-Go on vacation together

-Cliche dates

-Put a lock on that bridge in Paris

-Get told we are couple goals

-Forget that I'm sick for a night

-Feel safe and protected

-Go to Prom

-Loose my virginity

-Kiss at the top of a ferris wheel

-Random road trip

-Couple Halloween costumes

-Spend Christmas together

-Get married???

-FALL IN LOVE

-Spend a full day in bed

-Go to an amusement park

-Have him with me through it all

-Go to a sold out concert

-Get kicked out of a restaurant 

-Kiss in the rain

-Skinny dip

-Kiss underwater

-Die by his side

By all means, I didn't think I was going to be able to finish this by the time I die. But that doesn't mean I won't try. Now the only thing I need is a boyfriend to help me do this. 

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