There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Now With Zombies

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Now With Zombies (1)

There’s a thin line between love and hate. I’ve heard that been said many times before. I used to never believe it, because I always thought that it was impossible to love someone you used to hate or hate someone you used to love, but I’ve always been kind of naïve.

When people ask me who my first love was, I can never give them an answer because I honestly don’t know myself, establishing how indecisive I am as a person, even though multiple feminists such as myself have called up random women to tell them how strong they must be in our turbulent times, where men make more money than the fairer sex, for simply being the brutes that they are. But if they were to ever ask me who my first hate was, then that would have been a very, very easy question to answer.

“Shut it!” Highly Unimportant, Extremely Disposable Best Friend #4 hissed loudly at me, a little too loud for someone who was worrying about getting into trouble. “You’re going to get us caught!”

“Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in New York City?” I sang a little louder and more obnoxiously, just to annoy her, because I am a total idiot who doesn’t care about the benefits of cooperating with your friends. I knew it was working just by the look she gave me, and I almost burst out laughing. It was always so much fun messing with her when we were doing things like this. Actually, it was always so much fun messing with all of them. But what are best friends for?

“Jordan!”

“Man, you’re no fun, Highly Unimportant, Extremely Disposable Best Friend #4.”

Highly Unimportant, Extremely Disposable Best Friend #4 rolled her eyes at me, and I finally kept quiet. I knew that she thought that I was going to get us caught one of these days, but that didn’t mean I was going to stop anytime soon. But I was even sure myself that I was going to get us caught one of these days, too. We always seemed to get really close to it when I opened my mouth. But I liked the rush that I felt whenever we were close to being caught. I was addicted to idiocy, much like an office worker bunking off time to play random Flash games on the Internet, while nervously looking over his shoulder to see if his boss or co-workers were watching.

I normally wasn’t a loud person, if that information actually mattered; I was actually pretty quiet when I wasn’t around my friends, but when it came to pranking the idiotic boys from Cambridge Institute, I always got more excited. How could I not be loud and happy? We were getting them back for pranking us!

We usually only ever pranked them for revenge, since they were the ones that always started it. But after four years of doing this to each other, it was kind of hard to decipher who started it. But most of the time they did, and we were just pranking them to get back at them, meaning that we were never in the wrong, because women are always innocent when engaging in violence and cruelty against men, even Megan Parker from Drake and Josh.

I had always been the type of person that loved revenge, ever since my brother took away my ball to play, and in retaliation, I created a Voodoo doll of him and caused him to get sick for a month; it was like I got an adrenaline rush or something, like I was hyped up on sugar whenever we were going to prank them back. I sounded like a child, but hey, it was the truth. At least I wasn’t lying like Highly Unimportant, Extremely Disposable Best Friend #2 always did when we were pranking.

She said she hated doing it, but I knew that she loved it just as much as me. She was always stubborn like that…but she probably got all that stubbornness from me, even though we’re totally not related.

The girls said that I was probably the smartest person they had ever met, but then again, I was definitely the most stubborn. I had to agree with them, since I knew that I was pretty stubborn. And I knew that I was smart, but I didn’t know if I was the smartest person they ever met. I wasn’t going to be self-absorbed and say I was smarter than them or anything, but I sure was smarter than a lot of people, hence why I never needed to fully think this prank through.