The Complete Circle// Little Mix One Shot

The Complete Circle

It's been 2 weeks.

In these 2 weeks, I just let flurries of emotions take over me. First was denial, then anger. Now I was left with the residue of them all- sadness. Pure, intense grief.

I pulled on a little black dress, then draped a white parka over. As I applied the finishing touches of my makeup, I forced a smile on myself as a reminder to stay strong for our performance today.

I stood along the driveway. The car would arrive any moment now. Today is our first performance since Jesy was gone. We've all been avoiding the fans, soaking in our own grievances, but today was the day. The day we were going to perform, in memory of Jesy.

The car pulled up, and I opened the door.

"Hey Jadey." Perrie was the only one inside. My heart felt a pang of sadness at the emptiness of the car. Because of where we lived, Perrie would always be the first to be picked up by our manager whenever we went for gigs, then Jesy, then me. Leigh Anne was always last, and because there were only 3 seats at the back, she would have to sit on my lap and we would whine about it the whole way.

I was too accustomed to the sound of bickering between Perrie and Jesy every time I entered the car. But today, it was silent.

"Hey Pez." I replied, cringing at my forced cheeriness. My heart fell as I moved into the middle seat beside Perrie, where Jesy used to sit.

It was also the first time I would be seeing  the girls since Jesy's funeral. Perrie lacked her usual chirpiness, and was silent. A rarity. Tension just hung in the air as she looked out of the window staring blankly. I looked down, playing with my nails, trying to get the dark clouds out of my head. It wouldn't work. Every bit of this car reminded me of Jesy. I miss the familiar feeling of being squished because the backseat was too cramped. I missed the feeling of our thighs brushing together when the car swerved, no matter how disturbing that thought was- having Jesy physically beside me just made me feel so secure. I missed the familiar smell which was the blend of all our perfumes together. We tried to recreate that fragrance in Wishmaker, but nothing will ever smell like us, together. And it pained me that I'll never smell that familiar smell ever again.

A lone tear found its way down my cheek, and I looked over to Pez. Her eyes were red as well, and she smiled faintly at me, then squeezed my knee and nodded her head, and it comforted me a little. I moved closer and held her hand, because I figured she needed that too. But back in my head, my mind could only replay the times when Jesy was the one comforting us. I miss Jesy. I miss her so much.

The car pulled to a halt, preventing me from backing further into our well of memories.

"Hey Leigh." We chorused. Leigh didn't look too good as well. Though made up, she still looked lethargic, and she dragged her body warily into the car. I noticed the falling of her face, like mine, as she entered the car and noticed the emptiness of the back seat.

No one mentioned anything about Jesy along the way. In fact, no one mentioned anything at all. Our manager was the only one going on an on about our future plans and something about a 3 piece band, and I would fly into a rage at how quickly the management is trying to write off Jesy. Only his words weren't registering in my head. And from how Perrie or Leigh haven't moved from looking out of the window, I know they weren't listening either.

Today, the song we were performing was Little Me. I knew it was tough, but we all agreed on the track choice. Little Me was important to all of us, but it was Jesy's experience who really inspired this song.

**FLASHBACK**

We were working on our second album. Wow. That would have been 3 years ago, and 5 years since we all met. 5 years. That's how long we've been seeing each other everyday. Ouch. I felt the pain in my heart. But sorry yes, this was meant to be a flashback.