I just want you to know everything that's ever run through my mind about you.
I had such a big crush on you, I thought I might pass out. But you didn't seem to notice me at all. You seemed to brush me off. You know when to say the right things to get the girls you have in the right place. You want everyone to love you. You need everyone to like you.
Then, in seventh grade, on February 25, 2013 you asked me out. I remember that day so clearly. I had just gotten my phone stolen and I was speaking to a security guard who was anything but optimistic about finding an IPhone in a sea full of desperate Middle Schoolers. My best friend said to you "you should just do it later, she just got her phone stolen, it's not a good time." But you decided not to listen. You asked me out: "So..do you still wanna go out?" I mean how stupid does that sound. Also i was so focused on my phone being stolen that i couldn't even begin to focus on anything even remotely happy. So i answered you with: "i mean, sure." Still to this day you hold those words against me. Like what did you expect? i mean I'm a teenager obsessed with my phone so that was bound to happen.
But screw the back story. Here we are we're eighth graders now! but we're still talking about things that happened almost a year ago. How bad does that taste. I wonder if we're ever going to let that go. Its time to forget about everything that happened and start over. I've come to the realization that your a womanizer or man whore...which ever one you like best. You know exactly how to get the girls where you want them so you can use them to help you. You use girls as your fluffer. A fluffer is someone who you use for things but you don't intend on perusing a relationship with them. So alas you use girls as your emotional fluffer.
Over the 2013 summer you asked me to delete your facebook for a reason i will not mention for the sake of your dignity. When i went in to delete it you got a text from...her. (I don't want to put names in here because i don't have their permission) When i looked deeper into the conversation (not my best move) I came across this message: "I even used Sarah to try to get you"...wow. I was shocked by what i saw. But now, heres the thing: The way you feel abou her, yeah, the butterflies you get when you hear her name...thats how i felt about you. The way your heart skips a beat when she's coming your way, thats how i felt about you. So i refuse to chase after someoene who is chasing after someone else. The other day (4-28-14) I started to realize just how many people knew me because i was the "pathetic girl chasing the soccer kid" and it was almost disturbing to me how many people knew me because of you.
So. Im over its not worth the pain. It's not worth the frowns. And there ends the story of my first love.
