Christmas Wishes (A Hades Series One Shot)

Christmas Wishes

This story fills in a small gap between the last chapter and the epilogue of Dionysus by Caitlin Campbell aka _caitlinemma (so if you haven't read her story Dionysus I suggest you read it before reading this because otherwise there are major spoilers and you won't understand a lot of references). All the characters are of her creation and I absolutely love them all. She wrote the whole Dionysus book for me about my favorite character of hers and she's always wanted me to write so I thought I would thank her by writing her a one shot. I hope you enjoy it xx

"Mamma?"

"Yes Jasmine?" I whisper kneeling down beside her bed and brushing my hand softly over her tangled hair.

"Where's Spencer?"

The question catches me off guard and I'm transported back to the first days I arrived back into what is apparently my "normal" life. The days when Jasmine constantly asked me where Spencer had disappeared to and if he were ever coming back. That girl was smarter than she should've been at 4 years old, and she's even smarter now, but I honestly believed that after a year and a half she would have forgotten all about him.

"You still remember him sweetie?"

"Well duh Mamma, he was funny and he made us smile and he was nice and he didn't yell and..." she trails off and I finish the sentence in my head he didn't hit anyone.

No matter how hard I tried to shelter her from the abuse that occurred in my life it was impossible to hide it from her completely. It wasn't always predictable and Jasmine often heard my father yelling at me about the mess I had made with her good for nothing dad and that wasn't even the worst of it.

"So?" I look into her bright blue eyes shining with hope, "where is he?"

"I-I don't know Jas," my voice stutters as I see the flicker of hope die in her eyes.

"Is he ever coming back or did he leave like everyone else?"

"Jas you're smart enough to know that it's not that easy to explain."

"That's the only thing I want for Christmas," she states as if not even hearing my reply.

"What?"

"That's the only thing I want for Christmas! For Spencer to not leave like everyone else!"

"You know I can't promise that Jasmine."

"Santa can," she whispers as she rolls over wrapping her arms around the neck of her soft toy, the conversation clearly over.

I lean down and kiss her cheek mumbling a soft goodnight as my tears threaten to start falling. The fact of the matter is I've been thinking about Spencer a lot lately. I say lately but in reality there hasn't been a single day when I haven't thought about him, not that he'll ever find that out because it would inflate his ego way too much. Something feels different lately though, it feels like things are changing and the memories are even more powerful than usual. I drive myself insane with the conflicting feelings that come along with thinking about his annoying insistence to drill himself into my life. About him being the reason that most of my remaining family, if you could even call us that, died in a fire. Him being the reason I had to leave my 4-year-old daughter on whim for six months and have her almost die. Him being the reason I did die. Although he is also the reason I'm alive now. He's the reason I no longer live in constant fear. He's the reason I feel powerful, more or less, most of the time. He's the reason I opened myself up to the possibility of love again. Because he loves me, or at least he did. A sob wracks my body as I collapse onto the couch in our small motel room, our current residence. The sobs continue to come as the reality hits me that no matter how much I still love Spencer, he has every right not to love me back. Who would love someone after a year and a half of being ignored. Who in their right mind would even hold onto hope that the girl they had a fling with for six months would come back to them once they decided it was okay that they pretty much single-handedly caused not only her family's deaths but hers as well. But then it wasn't just a fling, at least not to me, and Spencer isn't in his right mind. Recently it's been a less vicious memory attack but something about knowing my sweet little daughter still misses him is like a twist of the knife already deep in my heart. It was stupid to even let her meet him, stupid to even let her believe that maybe he would be the one to replace her missing father when I knew that everybody in my life just leaves. I can no longer ignore the fact the I have to confront my inner turmoil and figure out if I can forgive Spencer and allow him back into not only my life but my daughter's life.