Crash

Chapter 6

Louis's P.O.V.

I climbed into the scorching bath, letting a hiss escape through my teeth as it burned my cold body. I lowered myself slowly, my eyelids fluttering when it got to my waist. My boner disappeared at the waters touch, instantly bringing it under control.

Why did that boy do this to me? I didn't understand. His beautiful green emerald eyes... They were so warm and they made me melt on the inside. I couldn't show that I was flustered though in public. I simply let my lust go to anger in a snap. I wanted to see him again though. I yearned for it.

I hit myself on the head. Why the bloody hell was I thinking about that poor class of a boy? Why was I having these thoughts about a boy at ALL? I was in love with Lydia Rush and was going to marry that woman. I wasn't a homosexual. I was a straight man who was simply confused about that boys beauty. He looked too much like a girl for my taste.

But why did I get the feeling I wanted to see him again? Why would I do that if I wasn't the slightest bit interested in him? I was confused and felt helpless. I couldn't understand my feelings that my body kept telling me to do.

The facts all lead to one thing... The one thing I feared more than even death. I was scared I was gay. I was absolutely disgusted with myself for even thinking the thought. I knew my brain was right. I knew my heart was right too. It was too bad they both led to the same damn answer.

I scrubbed my body roughly with a volcanic rock (Lydia has told me they keep your skin looking younger), turning my skin red and raw. I felt shaken up. I still felt disgustingly dirty and scrubbed my arms harder with the black sponge.

I felt my anger and hatred for myself build up. I was a worthless piece of shit. Why was I even allowed all this great fineries when I couldn't even be normal?

I felt angry tears drip down my cheeks, mixing with the foggy water. I was needed a release. Burning my body in the water wasn't enough. My anger flew open and immediately took the rock in my hands and let the edge cut my skin. I glided the edge over my arm, slowly, letting the blood mix with my dirty soul.

I cut myself three times with the rock, then threw it at the wall, where it shattered. The blood flowed down my arm, sinking into the water. I gazed absently at the blood as it trickled down. I was beyond angry. I slid underneath the bloodied water and screamed. Why did I do this to myself? I can't control my god damn emotions.

I stumbled out of the tub and landed in front of the toilet, puking the disgusting feelings I felt out. Tears streamed down my face, my wet hair plastered against my clammy forehead.

My arm wasn't bleeding as badly as before, yet I still had to wrap it up in some bandages I found in one of Lyd's bags. I emptied the bath and dried myself off with a fluffy red towel, wrapping it around my waist.

I strolled into the next room, my changing room and let my towel fall to the ground. I changed into one of my many black tuxedos with my black socks and dress shoes. My hair was mostly dried, so I took a comb and brushed it backward, slicking it so it would stay.

I heard Lydia chattering in the other room with her servants as they prepped her for the formal dinner.

Jesus Christ, I did not want to go to the dinner. I didn't think I could stand sitting at the table listening to a bunch of older men blab on about complete and utter nonsense. I had to somehow get of this dinner. Hell, I wanted to get out of this life. Too much was at stake.

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Hiiiii guys! Do you hate me? Hahaha. But I'm sorry if this story has been a little slow. I'm hoping it will get going faster once I have more time to write and less AP class homework.

This chapter was a bit of a filler. I just wrote it to keep you guys happy this weekend while I work on my other tasks that are slightly more important. I have so much upcoming projects and assignment, like ugh kill me. But I love you guys sooo. :)

Comment your thought about what's going to happen because I would love to hear them! Recommend my story to any body who will read it! :)

Byeeee! Xx