The Vampire of Sacremento

Barbiedrones and Super Fist

I groaned as I heard my alarm beep. I don’t give a shit about school. Don’t know why I even go. I rolled out of bed and staggered to the bathroom for a shower.

                                                                  ~δεατη~

I climbed off the bus and started walking towards the entrance of school. I can tell that I’m going to want to die before lunch.

“Richie Rich!” I turned and saw Bart Thompson running towards me. I stifled a groan. I honestly was not in the mood.

“Hey Bart,” I gave him what I hope was a genuine smile. Felt like I was trying to stretch plastic that someone decided to glue it on my face. He clapped me on the back.

“What have you been up to?” We were walking into the entrance of our school.

“Nothing much. You?” I really don’t know why I asked him that when I really don’t care what he’s been up to. Die Bart.

“Oh I…” that is where I stopped listening.

Unlucky for me, our lockers were right next to each other. Damn it. Beth and the other cheerleaders were standing by my locker. I was just about to turn around and walk in the other direction when I heard someone call my name. Double damn.

“Richard!” I turned to see Beth glaring at me.

“Shit,” I said under my breath. Apparently not low enough because Fart Bart asked me what was up.

“Nothing man. Hey, I will catch up with you later…” I knew what Beth was going to say and I definitely didn’t want Bart hearing any of it. I had a horrible feeling though, that somehow he would hear it anyway.

“Yea okay, later.” He began to walk down the hall. I sighed and walked over to Beth and the Barbiedrones

“Hello Beth,” I looked at her. She had this horrid smug look on her face. I was in for it.

“E.d. Richie,” she said in a matter of fact tone.

“E.d?” What the hell is E.d?

“E.D. stands for,” she turned to look at the drones standing behind her, winked, and returned her attention to me.

“Erectile Dysfunction!” Beth and the drones yelled in unison. Everyone in the hall quieted to see what was going on. Shit.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I was going to lose my cool.

“It’s what you have Richie.” Beth said in an innocent voice; her eyes growing wide as if she was telling a secret. Well she was telling a secret, my secret. Bitch. I knew I should have went for Lauren.

“I don’t have E.D. and I don’t even know what that is. It’s not my fault you and the drone’s vaginas reeked of fish strong enough to turn a guy off entirely.” The hallway filled with “ooh’s” and “damns” Okay so they didn’t smell at all but I was hoping this was going to shut them up. It did.

Beth and the Barbiedrones ran down the hallway crying. Man, they really were dumb as shit. Most people would have said “I don’t smell asshole” to back themselves up. Maybe they were embarrassed. I don’t know and don’t care. They were gone so I’m good.

“Richard!” I groaned and turned and saw Casey Smith’s older brother Tim stalking toward me. Casey was the first girl that my problem started with. Every since that day, she had became insecure; thinking that my dysfunction was her fault. Her brother, a linebacker for our football team has had it out for me since the incident. My ass is done.

“Hello Tim,” I tried to make my voice sound casual as to not give away the fear that was flowing through my head. He stood in my face staring me down. Triple damn.

“You screwed up my sisters life every since that day you invited her to your house,” From the corner of my eye, I saw this massive fist swing up and amazingly, it collided with my face. The impact sent my body hurtling into the lockers. The hallway filled with the sound of students yelling “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

I crumbled into a heap on the floor. I turned my head and looked up to see Tim standing over me with pure hatred in his eyes. I watched that super fist begin to form. Then all I saw was a girl’s ass wearing white undies. Whose skirt am I looking up?

“Stop Tim!” I recognized the voice. Beatrice Martin. My best friend whose cat I killed and the only woman I’ve loved for as long as I could remember. She was standing between me and her boyfriend who was sadly,Tim. And giving me a peep show all at the same time. Nice.

“Get out my damn way bitch!” I saw him fling her aside like a ragdoll and she hit the lockers, falling on the floor next to me.

Now nothing was stopping Tim from getting to me. The super fist began to form again and I closed my eyes waiting for the collision. When it didn’t come, I opened my eye a fraction to peek. Beatrice was in front of me again. Tim was wrestling with her trying to get her out of the way. She held his arms tight.

“Get off of me!” he yelled. Miraculously, the bystanders who had been watching this happen the whole time decided to break out of their trance and come to her rescue. His friends grabbed him from behind to restrain him. When Beatrice collapsed to the floor again, the surrounding girls ran to her aid.

I just laid there.

They helped Beatrice up and walked her to the bathroom. Tim’s friends had already taken him down the hall. I was pretty much alone. Still laying there. Maybe now would be a good time to get up.

I got to my feet and gathered my spilled things off the floor. I remade my way to the front of the school and walked out (the bell hadn’t rung yet lucky for me). I don’t give a damn about school anyway.

But hey, I got to see what Beatrice’s ass looked like. That’s a plus.