Binder Boy

Nervous

Nervous. That's all Fynn felt when trying to fall asleep on the night before his first day of junior year.

"Lila," he called, "are you still awake?" "Yes." he heard a feminine voice call from the darkness on the other side of the room. "I'm nervous. What if they can't accept me? What if everyone calls me by my birth name? What if everyone calls me a girl? Lila I'm not a girl. I'm not Madison. I'm Fynn." "I know Fynn. I know you're a boy. I know that you're Fynn. If no one accepts you, you can come to me. I always accept you. If it becomes too much I'll talk to my parents about enrolling you in online school. Don't worry babe. You'll get to be my handsome confident boy. You'll get there. I believe in you."

After a few more minutes of Lila comforting Fynn about his gender, how other people would react, and the ways they could tame that, Fynn and Lila went to bed.

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The next morning when Fynn woke up, the first thing he did was wake up Lila and right after he put on his binder. Lila got up and got dressed and then helped Fynn find his outfit and look as masculine as possible.

"What about this?", she asked, "No," Fynn said, "I love it but there's flowers on it and it might make me look too feminine." Two outfits later, they finally found it. It was nothing too extravagent, in fact, it was rather plain. An old, faded red and black flannel with some black cargo shorts. "I can't wait for my packers too arive.", he said as they walked downstairs to get some breakfast. "Me too." Lila said, "I want you to feel comfortable with yourself and if a bulge in your jeans and a flat chest is what does that, then so be it."

They ate their breakfast and Fynn headed out the door, followed by Lila who carried her car keys. As he sat down in the passenger seat he couldn't help but be nervous about what awaited him when he walked through those high school doors. All of the nervousness Lila calmed the night before had came right back and now it was time to face it.