The Sad Truth

The Illusion

It was just like any other day(ughhh cliche sorry), I was taking my usual walk around town to "stay in shape" I had to keep my form if I wanted to stay one of the "popular" guys. I also apparently had to only be friends with the other popular guys, dress like they dressed, and be a complete jerk to any other people who weren't popular. Not like I really cared. My parents are divorced to I'm stuck living with my Dad. My Malibu mansion felt big enough with my entire family in it. But now that my mom left for Fernando, it was even emptier. I figured if my parents obviously don't care about me then why should I give a shit about other people's feelings. Better yet my Dad is always gone on business trips and he still calls me the same name that he called me when I was 6. . . Sport. I could not wait to live on my own away from my sorry excuse of a family. But I had my own problems.

As I walked up to his house. I didn't even realize that I did it. I was just there. I had literally liked the boy that lived here for 3 years. I stared at his house. His name is Eric and to him I'm his friend, but to me he's so much more. I need to know if he likes me back or not. Of course there's the obvious way of asking him out, but I've always been too afraid. I don't know why, but for some reason tonight I'm obsessed, I need to know. There's only on way to know for sure and as I contemplate the idea I begin to panic. The thoughts raced through my mind as my heart throbbed in my chest. Ask Eric out!? How could I do that, sure I've loved Eric for as long as I could remember, but asking him out? Am I even allowed to do that. Back when I was "straight" the boy would always ask the girl, but now none of these past experiences could help me out. I have no idea what to do, my mind keeps telling me "no!" But my heart keeps aching with "yes". I've gone through the speech so many times,"Eric, will you please go out with me," but I'm still not sure if I have the courage to ask it. Of course I'm afraid of rejection, but I'm even more scared that Eric will say "yes". I'll have no idea what to do, I've been in plenty of relationships but they were with girls. Never have I ever been in a relationship with a boy. My feet reluctantly inch closer and closer to that door that I know that I have to knock on, I have to know if Eric could ever love me as much as I love Him, so I knock.

Linda, Eric's mom answers the door, I was instantly shocked, I just assumed that Eric could open the door. Now I have this awkward situation to deal with.

"Hi, is Eric home?" I asked, Linda, (who is probably not thinking anything of it because me and Eric are best friends) she answered, "Yes, I'll go get him for you." As she turned around I felt anxiety seep into my brain.

"Wait!" I shouted, "Do you think you could tell him something for me.

"Sure," the startled Linda answered

"Could you tell him that I'm having a party tomorrow at 7:00 and that I want him to-, I mean he is invited to it, he can come if he wants to."

"Yeah of course I'll tell him," She replied.

"Thank you so much, bye!" And then I ran home. What am I gonna do? I thought to myself. There's no party I only made that up so that I wouldn't have to tell Eric the Truth. Ok, think there must be something you can do.

I walked into my house still formulating a plan in my head. But then I hear my father talking in the mega room. The mega room is a small closet like space. Whenever you talking inside of it your voice gets louder because it echoes in the small space, there's also a vent randomly placed on the side, so if you ever speak in the mega room everyone in the house can hear you. My Dad always forgot that the room amplified his voice. whenever he has important phone calls from work he always likes to have a private quiet area to speak. He must have been in a hurry and not forgotten about the Mega room. I was about to open the door and remind him when I heard him exclaim,

"Really!?, my client lives all the way in Miami, that means for the next 3 days I'm gonna have to leave my family again." He hung up and opened the door. He opened up his mouth, then he slowly turned around and realized that he was just in the mega room. "Well I'm really sorry sport, but I guess I don't need to explain now." I pretended I was upset, and then sighed.

"It's okay Dad, I know you have to work. Don't worry about me I'll be find." I lied

"If you want you can stay with your mother," my father offered

"Nah, it's okay. I'm fine being home alone." I replied

That night I planned everything. And in the morning I knew I was ready. I called all of my "friends" aka people who I hang out with because they are popular. I raided my Dads beer stash, set up my speakers and waited for 7:00 to come. But then as 7:00 slowly crept closer and closer, I felt anxiety slowly take control of my actions. I brushed my teeth again, shaved, showered, but on casual but showy clothes, and finally just a touch of spray deodorant. Anything that would make me seem more appealing to Eric. But as I waited and the clock went from 5:00 to 6:00 I kept thinking about how unworthy I am to even be in the same house as someone as amazing as Eric. Then 7:00 finally came and let me tell you it was the best damn party I've ever thrown. It was so lit. The music was booming and my house was packed, people were on my padio in my pool, and I couldn't even go into a secluded room without finding a couple that definitely did not want to be disturbed. And as the party died down only my closest friends remained including Eric. This is when we played Spin the bottle Truth or Dare edition. I'd already told all of my female friends about my plan to ask out  Eric, so they knew what to do if they spun the bottle and it landed on me and Eric. The game started and went on for what felt like an eternity. Until my friend Lilly landed the bottle on Eric. She shot me and evil smirk and then she said

"Eric I dare you to do 7 minutes of heaven with Leo"

"What are we in 3rd grade?" Eric asked, "That's easy come on Leo." He grabbed my hand and led me into the nearest small closet like room, I could hear giggles from behind as he dragged me with him. When we closed the door and sat down together I could feel his breath on my neck. I could smell him and it was killing me. Even though it was dark in the closet I could still picture his face bright as day. By this point It was 2:00 at least and I had already had a few drinks so I wasn't really thinking clearly. "I'm glad I got to do this with you," Eric said, "It would have been a lot more awkward if I had to do it with a girl or something." And then without thinking I blurted it out.

"Eric, I have a crush on you." I said. Then Realizing what I said I panicked. I opened the door and was ready to run away, but then I saw everyone's shocked faces and I looked up and realized that we were in the mega room. Everyone heard my conversation. I felt trapped, Eric was still too shocked to say anything and my eyes were welling up with tears. I ran. I sprinted down the road sobbing, I had no idea where I was going I just wanted to get away. Away from my mistakes away from my parents, my friends. But never away from Eric. I finally caught a hold of my mind and stopped at a park. I sat on a bench alone and looked up at the stars alone. But even though I was physically alone in my mind I could still see everyone's faces and I couldn't get Eric's stunned silence out of my mind. I gazed desperately at the stars wishing to be with them, away from the world, away from my troubles. I closed my eyes as the tears continued to sting. Until I felt someone sit on the bench sit next to me. I knew exactly who it was. But I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn't have to face reality. I heard him talk but I blocked it out, I knew it would be too painful for me to bear. I guess he could tell that he wasn't getting through. So he kissed me. And suddenly all of my grief didn't matter and all of my problems disappeared. All that I cared about was this kiss. As it ended I opened my eyes and saw Eric's looking back at me.

________________
So that was the first chapter of my new attempt of a story. It's supposed to be the prequel of Silently Screaming Please comment and vote!!! Also if you don't like this story stop reading it, it's just something that I wanted to put out there. I'll try to write another chapter but I'm a procrastinator so we'll see how it goes.