Aries - Decides to get dressed up in fire engine red and play Santa. Showing off for the eager little kids, he climbs on the roof, takes a tumble and spends Christmas in a neck brace.
Taurus - Visions of sugarplums. And sugar cookies and gingerbread and fruitcake and eggnog and Christmas ham.
Gemini - Should I go skiing in St. Moritz or surfing at Waikiki?
Cancer - Decorates a beautiful tree, puts up lights in the yard, hangs the stockings and sits by the fire waiting for the kids to come home.
Leo - I wonder what Santa is bringing me for Christmas this year? I hope he read my letter carefully. Last year was really unacceptable-I mean, really, K-mart? Everyone knows I only wear designer brands.
Virgo - Works 60 hours getting Christmas ready at her favorite charity. Collapses and spends Christmas at home in bed.
Libra - Sets up an online business selling post-season Christmas items at a discount.
Scorpio - Visits Transylvania, obtains a genealogical certificate to prove matrilineal descent from Count Dracula.
Sagittarius - Wins the lottery and shops and shops and shops for friends and family, presenting each with a stocking the size of a car.
Capricorn - Spends Christmas at the North Pole helping Santa decide who was good and who was bad and deciding who gets how much.
Aquarius - Writes a book on the historical origins of Christmas.
Pisces - Dresses up as Santa, goes to a bad part of town and starts passing out presents to poor children. Gets mugged and peacefully hands over wallet. Spends Christmas calling credit card companies.
