Voice on the Radio

Chapter 10

Days have passed and I didn't bother calling or texting Jerry. I don't know why but I still can't get over what I saw that night. I know I should at least let him explain or what, but I guess I still have this trauma in love that makes me scared to know what he really feels.

As much as possible, I wanted to act as if everything's alright. I wake up early in the morning, drop by at a drive thru to get breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, work again, drop by at a drive thru for dinner and go home. That became my routine for the past few days. I know it sucks but what can I do? There's nothing left for me to do besides those things.

This day seemed to be exquisitely normal but I guess I'm wrong. The moment I got home, I saw someone outside my house as if waiting for someone. As if waiting for me. When I parked my car at the garage, the person straightened up and waited for me. I approached the person and acted as if everything's fine.

"Hey. What are you doing here at this time?"

"I just want to see you. Is that wrong?"

"Yes. Especially if you're seeing someone else." I mumbled.

"Pardon?"

"Never mind." I said while rolling my eyes. I know he hates it when I do that, but I want to do that right now. I'm irritated.

"Why did you do that? You know I hate it when you do that."

"Because I want to. Yes, you are courting me but that doesn't mean that you could say what I should or should not do. It's still MY life and so it's my prerogative if I want to roll my eyes." He was kind of shocked with what I said. This is one of the few times when I answer him back in a rude manner. I know it's kind of wrong for me to do but that's how I feel right now so he can't do anything about it, right?

"Hey. What's wrong?" He asked, this time, holding me in my hands. I pulled back my hands and answered him.

"Nothing. I just want to rest. Let's just talk some other time."

I walked past him and inserted the key on my door. He was still there. Standing like he can't believe what I just said. But after some time, he followed me and stopped me from going inside my house. He let me face him and I can see that he is really serious this time.

"Can you just please tell me what's going on? I've known you for months already and I know that you don't act like that whenever you're tired. You have a problem and I want to know what that is."

"Yeah. You've known me for months but that doesn't mean that you really know me. Yes. I have a problem and even if I do, that doesn't mean that you need to know every little thing in my life."

"Please Carrie. Let's talk about this. I like you. A lot. I can't imagine my life without you."

"If you think I'd fall for those cheesy lines of yours, well, you're mistaken. You even stopped courting me. Remember? We haven't seen nor called each other for days even weeks already. I guess that just shows me where we're supposed to be."

"And that is?"

"Don't you get it? This sort of relationship that we have is going nowhere. We might as well stop this thing before we get to hurt each other more."

"But Carrie."

"No more buts. Besides, I think you're happy the way you are living right now. You can actually get anything you like."

"Not anything because if I can get anything I like, then why can't I get you?"

"You know what, I'm not a thing at all. I swear. Maybe that's the reason why you can't get me." I walked inside my house and before I shut the door close, I told him the thing that I've been meaning to tell him.

"Oh, by the way, if you didn't lie to me the night I called you weeks ago, we could have been a couple right now. Too bad you lied and you were with someone else. Oh well, past is past. Good night." After saying those things, I closed the door and once again, I fell apart and cried my heart out.