An Eternal Odyssey of Suffering

Could we have a moment please,
For the liars and the thieves,
Those crooks and snitches,
And paranoid little bitches,
Who dare to have the gall to say,
"We are innocent and pure in every way",
Nonsense, bollocks and insanity,
Resulting in a catastrophic calamity,
For all those involved in the pursuit,
Of the truth which they refute,
So let us spare a moment for them shall we,
For these lowlifes who we must unfortunately see daily,
At our place of learning and such,
Where you would undoubtedly expect as much,
From fools, morons and the like,
Who should all just take a hike,
So could all the liars and the thieves,
Just take a moment,
To bugger off,
Please.

You're pilgrimaging, ever further, into harrowing darkness. Trapped, aboard a locomotive of despair - a train of melancholic thought - a torturous gaol on its sorrowful journey down an endless tunnel of misery and regret. You're alone, hurtling through the perpetual depths of a forlorn abyss. Travelling within a vacant husk of withering metal - Triton forged - tritely cold as the grave. The humidity of the dust-polluted air asphyxiates the lungs, rendering breathing near impossible. An obfuscating mist shrouds the oculi, eclipsing truth in favour of lies. Penetrating this deceptive haze are the pathetic, weak strands of light emanating from a solitary gaslamp. Its dull, orange hue conjures ominous, imposing shadows within this sordid place. Scantily illuminating the single object accompanying you, in this sordid place, on this expedition of insufferable grief; a gramophone.

Your gramophone - decrepit as your soul and surrounds - broadcasts a dittoing ditty throughout your wretched tomb. A sombre hymn forever playing in your mind.

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You're a burden! You're a loser! You're a failure! You're a shithead! You're a disgrace!"

"You're worthless! You're useless! You're pathetic! You're grotesque! You're retarded!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You're a fucking asshole! You're a piece of crap! Everything will be better without you!"

"Nobody cares about you! Everybody hates you! Nobody wants you to stay! You must die!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

"You should just kill yourself! Kill yourself! Kill yourself!"

You're doomed to die aboard this horrid train carriage of grief. There's no hope of salvation. Nothing, except the void, can ever exist beyond its oppressive walls. Its grimy windows are unbreakable. You have no other option but to ride upon this cruel engine, towards your dismal fate. A fate which you cannot avoid, for it is your destiny to be killed by this train.

Your soul benighted,

Travelling a fearful path,

From betrayal's aftermath,

Your identity blighted,

And mind gaslighted,

By the unstoppable wrath,

Of a deranged sociopath,

Your friendship unrequited,

From your pseudo-bae,

Whose vile chicaneries,

And malicious seduction,

Led your reason astray,

Breading endless miseries,

Resulting in truth's corruption.

This is what you deserve for being a horrible person. This is what you deserve for being a terrible friend. This is what you deserve for being mean to your bae. This is what you deserve for committing such a heinous crime - one which you do not remember ever perpetrating. However, this is what you deserve. There's no avoiding the punishing wrath of [in]justice.

Although you cannot remember what you have done, although you cannot remember doing anything wrong, although you have never been cruel to anybody, although you would never intentionally cause others misery for your own sick, twisted enjoyment, although nobody has ever provided you with any evidence of the crime which you committed, although you love your bae and care deeply about your friends, although you have never perceived any obvious signs of wrongdoing on your behalf, although you cannot find any logical reason as to why you would ever perpetrate a wicked deed...You know that you must have, surely, done something to deserve this punishment.

Why else would you be receiving punishment? Why would your bae abuse you and cheat on you if you weren't kind to them? Why would your friends bully you if you weren't a horrible person? Why would you always get in trouble, for things you don't remember doing, if you didn't break the rules? Why would you be suffering if you weren't the villain? Why would your friends condemn you to this fate if it wasn't what needed to be done? Why would they tell you to kill yourself if the world wouldn't be a better place without you remaining alive? Why would they insist that everyone hates you, nobody cares about you and nobody will ever love you if that wasn't the truth? Why would they call you ugly, criticise you and find fault in everything that you do if they didn't care about you? Why would they lie to you?

You see no reason to doubt what your bae and your friends have told you, they've always been honest and truthful with you. They do this to you because you deserve punishment. Nobody has said anything to the contrary, therefore it must be true.

Your friends would never intentionally abuse you psychologically, verbally and physically so they can manipulate you for their own sadistic purposes. They would never randomly choose a weak, helpless victim to torment because they enjoy watching other people suffer. They're always correct and you're always wrong. You're a constant disappointment and disgrace to everyone you know. You're a horrible person. The world would be much better off without you alive. These are the truths they have always told you. They have no reason to lie. They have no ulterior goals in mind.

You fail to comprehend,

That this is a lie,

They want you to die,

Their friendship is pretend,

This is a dead end,

Things have gone awry,

To them you must say goodbye,

So your life you can mend,

For too long you have believed,

This elaborate illusion,

Displayed by these hateful few,

You have been deceived,

Through masterful arts of confusion,

That your pseudo-bae does indeed love you.

This was you, your mind, all those years ago. It was also me - yes "I" the author - Beware them, young one. Beware those who pretend, those who lie, and they who want you to die. Do not believe fake friends, do not stay in toxic relationships. It will only lead to your downfall. Head this warning, which few receive, for lies make truths difficult to perceive. If, from all of this, you wish to only take one message. Then, please, let it be this poem - from The Company of Wolves;

Never trust a stranger friend

No-one knows how it will end

As you're pretty

So be wise

Wolves may lurk in every guise!