Light -Marcel Fanfiction-

Chapter Thirteen

Work is slow. My schedule was boring, all week. Work, boxing with Jason, library with Matthew, random stressful assignments, call Marcel and talk about his sister, try to make him blush or stutter. I go over to Grace's house and we do one of those stupid face mask things. It's supposed to make your skin brighter, or some shit.

"I kinda look like my vomit that time you cooked for me then we drank," I comment.

"Ew, um, thanks for that image," Grace laughs. "Let me do your nails."

Purple. She painted them fluorescent purple. I didn't know such a colour existed! It's so girly, so pretty, so not... me! And if that wasn't bad enough, she dotted them all with little white pinpoints. My nails never last a day because of boxing, or beating people up. But it is kinda funny when people see the beautiful colours of my pretty purple nails, decide to paint their house that colour or some shit, just before I ram my fist into their face hard enough to break a nose. Lovely.

"God, I look like such a girl," I whine.

"Yeah, your boobs do show a lot in that top," Grace snorts.

"Fuck you," I grin at her.

"So where's your nerd?" My nerd. Mine.

"Visiting his sister, left day before yesterday, back tomorrow," I say.

"You miss him?" she taunts.

"Not really," I say. Mostly true. Mostly.

"You don't plan on breaking the poor boy's heart, do you?" she sighs. Like a mum, so disapproving.

"Only if he becomes obsessed with me," I snort.

"And if he does?"

"Oh, well," I shrug. "Can I take this off now?" I gesture towards my face. Grace laughs and we both go scrub our faces raw. I literally saw no difference.

"So what are you planning on doing for your birthday?"

"Marcel," I smirk. Grace wrinkles her nose. "Hey, birthday sex is the best."

"Okay, stop talking," she groans.

"Like you're so pure," I tease. The girl blushes, her eyes appearing bluer as her cheeks flush with colour.

"You staying the night?" I hesitate.

"No, I can't. I should actually probably go now," I tell her.

"Okay, you call me and we'll plan something for your birthday!"

"Mmkay," I smile. "Bye."

"Bye!" She's so damn upbeat all the time, I think she's the not reason I don't punch myself in the face instead of bags. I think about that on the way home. Why am I always so angry? So angry, so fucking angry. I'm bitter and rude, from the anger. Why am I angry? The past is the past, it should be behind me.

But it's not, he's ruined me, that asshole brother of mine. He could be dead or alive right now, I don't know. Because he left me. He fucking left me. And now I don't trust anybody, now I sleep around and get tattooed and drink and party and I'm never satisfied, I'm never happy with anything. Ever. It's his fault, his fucking fault.

All this anger towards my brother isn't a random thing, it happens every day. I think about it every day. All the time. So this is normal, I will go home and toss my jacket over the couch, then shower and go to bed and work tomorrow morning. And I do, as expected, and I sleep instantly.

..

I can't sleep.

Normally, I am totally fine sleeping. Just tonight, I can't. I can't sleep. I don't know why. I think it's because of Jocelyn. I had a dream about her last night. It was rather abnormal, for me.