My Guardian

My Guardian - Part 1

"Can't you hear it?" I ask Mina while cupping my ears to listen to the street music better. "No I don't so can we go now?" She stands before me with her hands on her hips and a disappointed look upon her face. "Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it," I poke her stomach to make her laugh but instead she smacks my hand away in disgust. "What's your problem?" I ask then pull her close to me and plant kisses on her neck and shoulders. "Stop it," she says a little too loudly. I let her go and stare into her hazel grey eyes. " What is your problem Mina!?" I take her hands and hold them in mine. She stares at me coldly, making my spine chill.

She takes her hands from mine and turns her back to me. "I'm not happy Shane," she sobs into her hands shaking her head back and forth. "I don't love you anymore. I don't even know who you are now. I think we just need some time you know?" She turns to face me and I reach out to touch her face but she just dodges my hand. "I can change," I plead to her staring through her eyes into her soul. "It's too late," she says with blurry eyes as I watch her back away from me into the crowded street and rush past businessmen and bulky food carts until she's out of my sight. Gone, she's gone, maybe forever. I feel the tears rushing to my eyes and before I can control myself they begin to stream uncontrollably down my face. Two years of my life wasted on a girl that I thought would always love me. I hear the loud thumping bass guitar from the festival stage and wipe my tear stained cheeks. I take some time to get myself together and walk out of the dim alley into the street.

People whoop and holler for an encore from my uncle to play his bass guitar one more time, and he does. He begins his solo on stage and i'm soon lost in the deep rich vibrato of the guitar. He plays a blues piece and emotions begin to swirl inside me. Sadness, anger, regret , I can't take it anymore. I begin to push through the crowd plowing my way through bodies onto the empty sidewalk.

What happen to make Mina loath me? I thought coming out to my family getting emancipated and letting her move in with me would make things better for the both of us. I didn't have to hide her away anymore. I could finally be myself........maybe that's what she hated. Maybe she just hated the real me.

I get to the apartment in 30 minutes and fumble with the keys to the door before barging in searching for Mina. "Mina!" I wait for an answer that doesn't come. "Mina please," still no answer. As I walk further into our busted apartment and notice that she has already packed up her things. My first steps into the empty bedroom wasn't any easier she always decorated this room. Everything reminds me of her and it's soon so overwhelming that it makes me light headed and nauseous.

I sit on the bed and see a glint of light under a shirt on the dresser. Getting up I walk over to it and lift the shirt revealing the silver diamond bracelet I bought her not too long ago. I can't help the salty tears as they cascade off of my chin onto the dresser. Picking up the bracelet reminds me of the times we had, the laughs... her laugh. I'm going to miss her so much but I know it's over and there's nothing I can do about it.

. . . . . .

I toss and turn in bed until I can't take it anymore. Getting up I stand on the plush beige carpet and walk to the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the small white fridge. I poke my head into the cool box and grab a beer instead. I never liked beer but Mina always stocked the fridge so there wasn't another choice other than the frozen juice boxes in the back of the freezer. I walk across the room and sit on the couch then pop the cap off the ice cold beer and chug down the whole 12 oz bottle in a few gulps. I don't care for the taste and wince as the last bitter, leathery drop hits my tongue. I instantly feel a buzz in my body showering a tingling warm vibration through me. I want more, I need more to forget about her or at least enough to pass out. So I steady myself get another beer and guzzle it down hard and fast. This wave sends me back falling on to the couch as I laugh to myself - Mina always said I couldn't hold my liquor - I feel numb but I want more. So I get another and another and another and I finally pass out.