josh was at his lowest when the big top rolled into town. tyler was the star of the show until josh stumbled into his life and dragged him down with him.
{lowercase intended}
**sexual content
lowering the trapeze swing to the ground didn't take very long, but tyler tried to slow the ride down in his head. anything to delay what he knew would happen next. despite his best attempt, his bare feet still hit the dusty floor of the big top and he was being rushed away so the crew could pack up the entire circus before sunrise the next day. tyler was used to the chaos, though. every day was the same for him, aside from the occasional reluctant hookup with the ringmaster.
once he was beyond the exit of the tent, tyler gazed up at the sky to see the same old stars that he saw every night. he once saw those stars as small glimmers of hope for his miserable existence, but now they only mocked him. so free and far away. leaving him behind like everyone else had. the crowds that had just marveled at tyler were now passing right by him without a thought to go back home.
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tyler's eyes flickered to the ringmaster leaning suspiciously against the concession stand. he slid something under his hand across the counter to the worker. tyler couldn't make out what it was, but something was off about the exchange.
"it's gonna take a while to wash all that shit off your neck, huh?" brendon laughed, throwing an arm around tyler before following his gaze, "whatcha thinking about, joseph?"
tyler kept his eyes trained on his boss, "just wondering what that's all about," he gestured to their boss smirking slightly to the concession worker, "do you think wentz finally moved on from me?"
"wentz and stump?" brendon laughed and shook his head at the brunette, "c'mon, joseph, he's just repaying patrick for doing a good job."
"what do you mean? is he getting money?"
brendon rolled his eyes at the boy's naivety, "tyler, you can't be serious. stump probably sucked him off and now wentz is giving him a bump in return. understand me now?"
tyler nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. he remembered a time when wentz used to offer him drugs, but he repeatedly refused them. tyler didn't want to end up like the addicts that littered his troupe, giving everything they had to their boss for just one short high. wentz thought that making tyler the star of the show was enough payment for him.
"stump's not the only one and you know that," brendon wagged a finger at tyler, "but wentz is still focused mostly on you. listen, joseph, all you have to do is find some sucker to take your place as his favorite. hell, maybe you can find someone out here tonight."
******
it took a few minutes for josh to completely clear his head. it was proving to be quite difficult to focus on avoiding his ex while his he was still thinking about the brunette trapeze artist. the crowd of people pushed past josh as he stopped to rub his head. he had a headache coming on and knew that it was going to be a long night.
after surveying the area quickly, josh decided that debby and jesse must not have seen him and left, best case scenario. if they were still there and looking for him, they would have luck at the concession stand where josh decided to treat himself. he was stressed out, but he was still at the circus.
"uh, one cotton candy, please."
it seemed to have taken forever, but josh was finally starting to relax. it really was a gorgeous night out in his town that usually had the worst weather and the warm breeze through the circus calmed josh down while he enjoyed his treat. from the bench where he sat, he could see his building in the distance where his run-down apartment was. thinking about returning home only dulled the sweetness of his cotton candy.
suddenly, josh heard a familiar laugh. one that he hadn't heard in a while. it was barely loud enough to hear in the sea of voices around him, but josh immediately turned his head to see a mop of red hair several feet away, standing with his best friend. debby. a person that once brought josh so much happiness, now made him raise his candy floss to shield his face from her view.
her focus wasn't on him though... it was on jesse.
she mouthed something to josh's best friend seductively, like she had done to josh mere days ago. jesse responded to her words by pulling her closer to him and pressing his forehead to hers while completely oblivious to josh sitting feet away from them, squirming from the shock and jealousy pulsing through him.
"h-how could you?" josh managed to get out, obviously too loud, as the two people he had been hiding from turned to face him.
by the time they were all making eye contact, the trio had all turned beet red. josh couldn't hear the apology that came tumbling out of jesse's mouth over the sound of his heart beating wildly in his ears. his stomach and the cotton candy in his hands dropped as he looked into debby's eyes, the ones he had been trying to get over, that he last looked into as she was leaving him presumably for jesse.
"c'mon josh... just wait and let me explain..." jesse approached him, causing josh to step backwards twice as fast, "it's not what it looks like, man."
josh turned to face away from the two of them as the reality of it all finished setting in. he kept his head down as tears streamed down his face. he had no one left anymore. not a best friend, not a girlfriend. he just needed to get away from them quickly and didn't want to hear anything they had to say for themselves.
the carnival lights blurred around josh like a kaleidoscope as he saw them through teary eyes. over the noise of the crowd, he could hear jesse running after him and calling his name. josh swiftly side-stepped out of the crowd and jesse continued running past. josh only had a few seconds to breathe before he took a step back and tripped into the opening of a small tent.
