as I lie awake at night thinking of all the boys and girls that I've wanted to be with...romantically (of course) I lose sleep over the one that I still obsess over.
my dear and precious baby boy, i hope you're happy. i hope you're healthy. i want to ask if you see me and think lowly, highly, or nothing of me. I'd rather you'd think lowly of me than nothing of me. I want to know you think of me. the sweet release of your attention brings me back to my safe haven.
while you ignore my very existence, I wait for the day you come and notice me...even if it is just bumping into me. I hope to see you again, on a higher note. When I'm not staring at you longingly, I lie alone on the sheets that make up my melancholy. I hope to see you smiling at me. To see you talking to me, as a happy boy. A smiling man.
To gain your attention is to win. I'm sad to say that you give me self-validation, self worth, you're the drive that gets me up on mornings where it's too hot to care.
I hope to see you, w.n
-j.l
