Saiko
Who am I?
The one question I ask myself every day. Am I the innocent boy that once lived an ordinary life or the monster that's gone completely insane who doesn't know right from wrong? Or am I just changing to fit this new, desolate and hungry world
Questions to ask, but no one with answers.
I had been studying for my exams since I got home from school and decided to take a break and treat myself with some snacks. I closed my books and made my way through my small, single bedroom apartment and arrived in the living room.
"A boy in his teens has gone missing, witnesses say he was last seen at Shigaru Miyamoto Honorary Park at 9:30pm yesterday. Police are still investigating for any clues as to where the boy might be..." the TV was slightly static and the connection wasn't great, but it was all I had since the world had become wasteland esque, from radioactive emissions, or something like that.
I turned off my TV, these things happened all the time, petty fights over resources and the such. I headed to the kitchen. I searched my pantry and fridge looking for anything that would satisfy my craving for sweets but found nothing that interested me. I missed the times when food was always there, and wasn't 3 months old in a can, or packet.
It had been a while since my last food shop so I decided to go to the convenience store down the road. I made my way to the front of the apartment, put on my shoes and grabbed my keys that were sitting on the small hallway table and made my way to the store. I didn't bother locking the door, it was just a flimsy piece of tin roofing, but taking my keys had become habit
It was around 9:00pm when I got to the convenience store and there weren't many people around so I decided to make it quick since this area of town was a bit dangerous at night. I grabbed 2 boxes of microwavable dinners, a ton of 2 minute noodles and some protein bars and headed to the counter. I payed the cashier and made my way out of the convenience store heading back to my apartment.
On my way home a saw my favorite book store with a new book that had just been put on the shelves which peek my interest. I've always liked books, my dad had a whole collection of them in his office that I always use to read when I was little. Mom said that dad left before I was born so I never really knew him, reading the books he left was the only way I felt closer to him.
When I was 11 my mom got cancer and we were tight on money so life was very difficult at the time especially since she didn't have her husband to support her. Over time mom got worse and eventually passed away which was heartbreaking, I was all alone and the only way I could stop my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts from taking over was to read more and more books to keep reality away. I eventually made a friend at school one day and we would always read the books that we recommended to each other and talk about our favorite authors together. He was my first and only friend, he was always there for me when times get rough and he still is till this day. There was even that time when I was super suicidal and, well, we didn't mean it, but somehow we ended up making out. It was kinda awkward because both our parents were against gay couples, but we were in love.
That was all before America, Russia, North Korea and others like them started fighting, escalating into full on nuclear war, essentially eradiating 99% of life on earth. I was one of the lucky survivors. Or unlucky, depending on how you look at it
As I was reminiscing over good times, I heard a noise come from the nearest alleyway which brought me back to reality. As I got closer to the location the noise came from I heard a loud scream which frightened me. I turned to see a man wearing a white suit and a mask with a large grin on it laughing hysterically while stabbing a young male in the stomach repeatedly. The man was withering in pain as the knife entered and exited his stomach creating a new cut every time. Blood gushed out of his stomach and stained the ground with crimson red. I was shocked at what I had just witnessed, I felt sick, and the smell of the blood stained the air. I stood there paralyzed, unable to move, just staring in horror as the man grabbed the head of the young male that was lying on the cold ground in unbearable pain and slit his throat open. He stopped screaming instantly, blood streaming from his neck.
The man stood up straight, taking the gloves that were drenched in blood off. While disposing of the evidence he stopped, realizing that there had been a witness. He was looking at me. I was even more frightened, I realized that I was his next victim since I saw the horrible act that he had just committed so I turned and began to run, but it was too late. I felt a blood-stained hand grip at the back of my shirt which made me stop almost instantly. He dragged me back into the alleyway and threw me onto the ground. I tried to get up but came in contact with a gooey and thick liquid that was next to me. I turned to see that I had placed my hand in a puddle blood that was on the ground next to the corpse. I screamed in horror as I slammed my head into the ground repeatedly while crying but was stopped by the sudden hand grabbing at my throat, I gasped for air and started clawing at the hands wrapped tightly around my throat.
The homicidal maniac picked me up of the ground and pinned me against the wall, slightly loosening his grip. I gasped for air, relived that I could once again breathe, my head pounding from the impact. As I was panting and wheezing trying to catch my breath I felt a cold object come in contact with my skin. I looked up to see the man holding a sharp knife against my neck. He slowly moved the blade up my throat and made a small cut. I groaned in pain as the blood dripped down my throat staining my skin crimson red, the man laughed as if we were enjoying this wholeheartedly.
I looked at him pleading to let me go. He ignored me and went back to making small light cuts all over the bottom half of my face, I screamed as the blade slowly pierced my skin, the pain was unbearable. He moved the knife down my neck and my arms, my throat hurt from screaming so much. He smeared his finger in the blood on my arms, and licked it. He grinned sickly and plunged the knife through my arm. I choked on my scream, the pain clouding my eyes. I thought to myself that I was going to die without truly living my life and leave my best friend, my lover, behind. The murderer stopped and I froze. He rose the knife above his head then violently stabbed me in the stomach repeatedly. The pain rushed through my whole body and I screamed, I coughed up blood and gasped for air. The man spoke as I was drowning in pain,
"I love the look of fear in a person's eyes as they finally realize that they can't escape." his voice grated against my ringing ears. I stopped trying to resist and just let go, there was no point in trying anymore, it was too late. The words of the TV ad bounced around in my skull. I was about to be just another headline.
I let go of the hand that was tightly wrapped around my throat and let my arms hang beside me, waiting for him to kill me. My vision started to go blurry and I felt light headed, there was no way I would stay conscious after I lost so much blood. As I slumped to the ground, I felt something poke me in my back. I scrabbled for it and found that it was a razor blade, slightly bent but still sharp. I wanted to end this on my own terms. The psycho looked down at me, and I stuck up my finger at him as I drew the razor blade across my throat and turned my head up; I wanted my last sight to be of the stars.
Who am i?
Saiko
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