Chapter 1

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It was a normal boring Monday afternoon, I was maybe thirteen? I was in the eighth grade and I remember sitting in class, waiting impatiently for the loud, annoying bell to ring. Even though the sound pierces my ears it's still a relief to know I have one more bell before the day is over. That's when the sound of the phone in our classroom startled me with an abnoxious ring, my teacher picked it up and answered.

"This is Ms. Simpson's class" she smiled and then her glare darkened into a cold hard stare of worry.

"A-alright.....I'll tell her" Ms. Simpson stuttered and then shifted her glance from the floor to me. Her eyes were wide open in shock and her face was as pale as a ghost.

"Winter sweetie....." Ms. Simpson struggled to say my name "can I speak to you in private."

My stomach dropped and I began to worry for what was about to be said, all month I waited to hear this and I knew it was coming.

"They found your sister" Ms. Simpson caught a tear in her eyes ".....but she was found dead."
I sat quietly in shock, I couldn't move so I just sat there so still I almost felt dead. My eyes felt hot and tears came raining out of my eyes. I knew that she was gone when she went missing from that bar.

My sister was a hard core party type of girl, like all teenage seventeen year olds she was curious, a little too curious. My mom and I often found her drunk at clubs, smoking weed, and doing drugs. She ended up being kidnapped at a bar while high and we never were able to find her for a whole month.

"I'm terribly sorry about Autumn....." Ms. Simpson looked at me with a look of guilt on her face. "The police found her body in a creek, she looked as if she was badly beaten...." She was struggling to tell me this and I could obviously tell. "the men that took her are going to be found. I'll keep your family in my prayers."

They're was a slight pause of silence until I leaped from the chair.

"In your prayers" I hissed "all we do is pray and pray and what do I get out of it? I have no family now that she's gone! It's just my mom and I now!"

Ms. Simpson seemed shock as to what came out of my mouth. "Everyone is going to die Winter. Just at different times. I'm really sorry that you've lossed your family....."

"Don't you think if my prayers were answered my dad and my sister would be living right now!" I shouted not really catching everything I was saying.

"Don't blame God on this...." She said softly "she's in a better place now."

"Why does everybody say that?!" My voice cracked as I bursted out of the room with tears rolling down my face.
I ran into the front office where my mom was. She had a pale face, and her blue eyes were beat red from crying.
"Come on let's go home" mom said with a muffled, sad voice.

That was the worst day of my entire life and I know that I'll never get over Autumn's or my father's death.

I'll tell you about how I lossed my faith and how God had found me through this tough sad time......

**2 weeks later**

My stomach grumbled but I could care less. There was no need for food in a depressing time like this.
My mother and I just sat in our rooms and cried the whole two weeks since the news about Autumn was broken.

The police have searched everywhere for the men that took her but they apparently haven't seen them anywhere. The funeral will have to be later because doctors are searching everywhere on her body for signs and clues of how exactly she was murdered.

I didn't care to know how she died, I didn't want to hear how those men beat her. All I wanted is to watch those vicious criminals go slowly but very painfully die. People say I've gone slight psychotic since Autumn died, but whatever they don't know what it's like to grieve or to slowly be killed by five psychotic men.

My mom came into my room, she looked awful. Her normally happy blue eyes seemed to have turned gray. Her blonde hair was greasy and tangled, her face seemed to sink almost.

"Hey..." her voice cracked slightly "do you want to go out to eat?"

"No thanks I'm not hungry....." I answered in a shaky voice.

"Sweetie you haven't ate in the past two weeks" she pushed.

"I don't want to eat" I  mumbled into my pillow.

"Fine." She answered and left my room. I could hear her suddenly start to cry, but I covered up my ears to avoid hearing the grief in her voice.

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