I sat staring through a open window as life dangled in front of my eyes. How hadn't I seen it before; how hadn't it caught my eye? It hit me so swiftly, like a wave that unexpectedly overtakes you as you walk along the beach. "It's really happening," I thought to myself.
I am no longer a child. I am terrified.
And it's not fear that immobilized me, it was realization. It's the realization that my life will simply just keep moving along and I have no say in the matter. It's the realization that I no longer have what seems like all the time in the world to figure out what I want to do with that life; what I want to be, what I want to leave behind after I'm gone. It's finally time for me to stop thinking as if my life would get better, but to embrace the fact that I am no longer my mother's responsibility. These were the nostalgic thoughts I've only wondered at, baffled at, as I lay alone in my bed at night.
It had never felt real until now.
I gazed at reality as it hung there just above the horizon, as it hung unaware of the meaning it gave to me at that moment. Those few seconds stretched for hours, stretched to encompass the span of a lifetime in the flash of a blinking eye. And that's what it all now felt like; a blink, a moment, a flash.
I was taken from my mother due to a lack of care. I was placed in a foster home; one in which the sun didn't gleam through the window, the birds didn't sing a glorifying melody. This was my first foster home- and little did I know, it would be the descend into my own personal hell. As past days reached the present, I didn't stay at Ms. Harrison's house (which her name came to be). Migrating futher, I settled at my current home with caring people. I attend a great school with caring people. It's a type of euphoria that I hadn't felt in what seemed to be centuries. I revived my poetic natural, one in which I so longed for. so yes, as I sit perched by that window staring down nostalgic road, I emerged victorious! Though the terrain left me bound to the ground, I still managed to stand; how else would I get from class to class? Positivity lives in one who keeps it imprisoned within not only the mind, but the soul. I'm grateful for what has happened in life; and every chance I get, I'll stare reality deep into it's eyes and kindly say "thank you". And I won't say it out of grace, but because it's my only option left; so thank you, but it's about time I close that window.
