It's Complicated

The Concert

Sky said she had bitch flakes for breakfast, which either translates to “Don’t-say-anything-crappy-or-I’ll-gut-you-and-tie-you-to-the-flagpole-naked” pissed or the “Don’t-talk-to-me-or-I’ll-bury-you-alive-with-your-*insert gross word here*-in-your-fucking-mouth” so don’t take any chances even if she looks like the happiest girl in the whole universe.

But being an idiot today at lunch, I took the (hopefully not the last) chance to ask her if she’s gonna go ballistic level one, two, well... you get the idea. Luckily, she sensed that I’m being an idiot today so she just replied with an obvious, irritated sigh. Sensing a need for an ice-breaker, I asked her about her new mixer which she happily talked about for a while until an idiot screamed to the world about the upcoming Kryptonite concert here in WEHS, the girl didn’t even see the plateful of spaghetti fly so it went full force on her bitch-creamed face.

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As me and Sky went home, I finally got the organs to ask Sky why the Tartarus does she hate the band and she replied “They’re hormonal dickheads that go make noise and bitch-hunting for their one-night-stands. Especially their lead screecher, Hunter Mason.”

“Don’t go ballistic now, but don’t you think that you’re getting a little bit absorbed to your mixes and DJ gigs?” that made her laugh but I continued “I know you love your gigs and mixes and the “I-hate-everyone” crap and the fact that you make better music than them, but Kryptonite’s just-”

“Oh gods, NOT YOU TOO!” she suddenly exclaimed.

“What?!”

“Listen J. Kryptonite sucks donkey dick, they’re a lady killing band of fame-whores who go out impressing women to get themselves laid and are living their total care-free, bastard lives making shitty, wait... making nails on a chalk board sound like the winds whispering.” Ok, that really made me laugh.

“Tell that to the girls behind you.” I managed to say despite my painful ribs.

“They can kiss my fucking ass. When is that stupid concert? I wanna know when the school is a bitch magnet so I can call animal control.”

“Tonight ‘till Friday, I’m going and so is Anna...” I implied, seeing her reaction to my statement.

“WHAT?! ANNABELLE?!” Yeah... She can be a little overprotective of her sister.

“She’s obsessed with Kryptonite, don’t you know?”

“Oh for the love of pancakes, she’s thirteen! She still watches the stupid, mutant, talking, pyjamad bananas show thingy in channel 15, not some hormonal dickheads form who-knows-where!” and with that the girls behind us had enough and started to throw their extra-extra-extra-large lip glosses at Sky, bad move for them for now they have bigger nostrils and some colorful bruises up their shins. After that, she continued saying “Are you fucking kidding me J?”

“All I can say is that I can’t believe that your sisters with Anna.”

“Me too...” then the unexpected.

“You know what, I’m coming with you.” That my friend I didn’t see coming.

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6:30 pm. Me , Anna and Sky are now en route to the concert and me and Anna are hoping to all beings of the universe that we go home without the police escorting us and has an arrest warrant against Sky ‘cause she committed about a dozen third-degree murders and arson during (or because of) the concert.

6:46 pm. We took our places, unsurprised that Sky took the VERY FRONT. Probably so she could do something to the band while they’re playing, and how shockingly right is my little prediction.

7:04 pm. The concert started with an opening band (which form my point of view, Sky likes it) and then the big guns show up.

7:22 pm. Sky looks like she just swallowed her puke, and then out of the blue she started booing at the top of her lungs. Gah! Incoming flying bitch creams!

7:36 pm. Kryptonite cranked it up so Sky’s voice is drowned, and she looked smug like she expected it. Uh oh, I smell trouble right around the corner.

7:53 pm. The duet song comes up and they’re doing the “spotlight search” and it stopped (unsurprisingly) at... Wait, where is Sky? Oh boy, there goes my prediction.

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Anna and I raced out of the gym to find Sky, but it was easy. Despite the loud music (if I can consider it music) we can hear her swearing and even without her voice, there’s always the path of destruction.

As we neared her location, we suddenly stopped when we heard the guidance counselor, Mr. Archid, say “Ms. Clyde, what on earth do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m trying to save lives and stop a new race of teen moms and mini-Masons from sprouting here in West Edmond you stupid oaf! GET THEM OUT OF HERE!” Sky replied, and we gotta admit that was pretty funny.

“Ms. Clyde, the gym is for public use so anyone can book it. And besides, their performance here helped renovate it and the shower room.”Mr. Archid replied calmly.

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE YOU OAF! I WANT THE-” Sky said but Mr. Archid beat her to it “Ms. Clyde, if you’re going to talk garbage like that for the rest of the night, we might as well end this discussion and start your two hour, week long, nonnegotiable detention!” 

But I think Sky doesn’t want to end it ‘cause we suddenly heard two voices groan from the office and something like “Weak.”

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Skylar Clyde is pissed to the point that even if you say the first three letters of Kryptonite, she’ll make you the first person in the world to fly to space without even entering NASA so our poor Chemistry teacher got traumatized when she’s about to say that we’re about to focus on the element  Krypton. Yeah, she’s that pissed and the detention isn’t helping her calm her nerves either.

She’s been busy in the net to, just log in to your Facebook and Twitter and you’ll see your News Feed and Dashboard filled with anti-Kryptonite content. One day, I noticed a post on Sky’s wall from (cue drum roll) Hunter Mason saying “Ooooh! Looks like someone wants the D guys!” causing her to reply the one dreaded sentence that I prayed so dearly that she won’t post. “You, me, ALONE, Massachusetts’s Dead End, NO PAPPARAZI OR CRAP.” After a comment that made me explode of laughter “Dream on, the only big D she only wants is a donut. Go eat a cactus you motherfucker.”