tales from a broken mind

soo I am writing this in  a bit of a state but I hope I'm not alone

have you ever felt broken?

empty?

like you just don't matter?

and everything you do is wrong.

Like your trapped in a world you don't belong in, you never feel like you quite fit. And although you have friends your always a third wheel that's left drifting alone. You constantly doubt yourself and ignore everyone, yet you feel obliged to follow and take care of everyone. but what if you need taking care of.

what if every once in a while when you crack and try to keep yourself from breaking, you need someone to keep you together and sane. but what if it's too late and your trapped in your own broken mind and you need someone to sticky back together as best they can.

And what if it's getting to the point when the order and sanity is beginning to fail bad all the little things you do to stop everything crashing down on you begin to collapse and someone's written in that book in the wrong coloured pen so it's lost that structure and suddenly you can't breath and you search for your favorite ballpoint so you can write the pain away but it's missing and everything's concaving and you begin to spiral out of control and your falling and falling and then it stops.

and all you can hear is your heart beating and your shakey breaths.

your vision restores and everything's normal.

but it's all a bit bleaker and the colours aren't as vibrant anymore.

I can't hang on for much longer.

Help me.

soo yeah, I've calmed down a bit but I think I just wanted to get it off my chest