falling asleep on a stranger (josh dun)

Isle Of Flightless Birds

(Josh's P.O.V)

Y/N said Jenna texted her saying that her and Tyler were staying in a hotel for the night. I think we all know what that meant ;)

I was currently still carrying Y/N and we were walking back to to the bus.
She had her arms wrapped around my neck and was just looking up at me.
"Did you know?"
I looked down at her.
"I knew Tyler wanted to marry her, but I only found out today that he wanted to ask her."
She nodded.
Her soft hair fell over my arms and I took in her features as she looked around us.
She caught me staring. "You know I can walk right?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but I like holding you." I smiled at her.
"I'm heavy as hell Josh." Her face hardened.
"You weigh nothing!! You're like a feather.. And I'm a big boy now."
She nodded like she didn't believe me.
"Righhhht." She said sarcastically.
I laughed.

"I love you." I whispered, breaking the short silence
"I-I love you too." She looked back at me a little confused.
I don't deserve someone as beautiful and sweet and caring as her.. I was scared to do anything with her because I was afraid that I'd fuck it up.
I'd make her leave.
She's the only person I've ever loved this much.
like I was holding glass, that I could drop at any moment.. And it would shatter on the floor.. Kinda like what my heart would do.

I zoned out as we walked onto the empty bus. I sat in the back lounge.
I don't want to fuck this up. And I don't want her to leave me.
Before I knew it, tears were pouring down my face silently.

The door of the bathroom opened up and Y/N came walking out. I quickly tried to hide my tears with the left over red makeup around my eyes.
She started walking towards me but stopped when she saw my face.
I couldn't read her expression.
"What happened?" Her voice was quiet but low.
She sat on the floor in front of me and grabbed my hands.
"Josh. Did I do something? What's wrong?" Her voice was worried.
I just shook my head.
She sighed. She got up and kneeled in between my legs and hugged me. "Josh, you know you can tell me anything right?" She whispered into my shoulder. I nodded as I hugged her back.
"I-It's dumb anyways.." I sniffled.
She pulled away and a tear rolled down my cheek. She wiped it with her thumb as a tear fell from her eye.
"Please baby. Nothing you say is dumb."
I sniffled and looked down.
"I just don't want to loose you and I'm so scared that I'm gonna fuck this up. I love you so much and I don't know what I would do without you. You make me the happiest man in the world. I want us to be like Tyler and Jenna. I want to grow old with you. But I'm so scared that I'm gonna mess it all up, it's selfish and dumb... But you're all I want.. You're all I have.." My voice got quieter as I spoke.
Tears streamed down her face.
"Josh I-" she sniffled
"If anything I'll be the one to fuck this up. I'd do anything for you Josh.
I will love you forever, no matter what happens. Okay?"
I nodded and pulled her onto the couch with me. I laid her down and crawled up beside her. I cuddle her to me as she looked at me.
"I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile." She spoke up.
I laughed "what?"
"Or the way your tongue pokes through your teeth when you laugh." She said again.
I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Also when you're nervous you curl strands of your hair with your fingers."

I scrunched up my face
"Ok, Well, I love it when you bite your lip when you're focused.
And when you snore you sound like a kitten.
When your eyes light up when you're happy.
Or sometimes when you're nervous you clench your jaw." I stuck out my tongue.
She blushed and shook her head.

"Did you really want to maybe get married some day?" She looked up at me.
"Uhm.. Well.. I guess so yeah."
What if she didn't want to? Oh fuck oh no
"Me too." She looked away.
Phew.
I hugged her to me.
I never wanted to let her go.
"Well you might have to soon, I have to pee." She said.
"Wait.. I said that out loud?" I blushed
She nodded, laughing and stood up.
She walked back into the bathroom and I sighed. She wants to marry me... Me?
A whole butterfly migration took flight in my stomach.
I couldn't be happier.