July 29, 2023
How horrible the feeling of power felt, most said it would be so enjoyable and liberating but it was not. I possessed no greater hatred for something else in my life.
A burst of laughter filled my unlikable mind. "How sad, how terrible you have everything you've ever wanted yet you still find a way to complain." My thoughts seemed to fight over feelings. Oh, this is terrible, as I gained I lost. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe, just maybe I was going absolutly mad. I didn't know my own thoughts anymore...
November 13, 2022
"Listen to me Mary! I don't think your going to get the work done if your staring out into space." I heard a distant voice ring through my head phones.
"Ahh, I see, You think I am an idiot? Well for your Information I am already done!" I replied taking my ear buds out of my ear and turned toward the awkward voice putting a face to it. Of course it was my rival Sharron.
"Oh, well, I only expect the worse from you Mary darling. Not trying to be rude but you are kind of slow.." She said looking over to her loyal followers who gave her faces of overall approval."
"That's how its going to be then? Alright but if you need anything don't come running to me for help, because you know your work would be crap without me." I said turning away from her, Putting my headphones back in so i could block out her abnoctios voice.
School was always my worst nightmare, every one there was so into popularity over work, of course I didn't really care for either, but still apart of me wanted to be apart of the alleaged Princes and Princesses of the school, yet I had few friends. We where the outsiders.. But who would want to be cool when you can be diffrerant?
I know it sounds like nonsense but I believe that no body is perfect although they call us the superior generation, we where anything but that. We where all toxic. A drifting thought that was. On and off it would come as if It was my only thought just pushed aside by more pointless thoughts, but not even I knew what it all meant. Some times I felt unlike myself, like I was missing something more important, something that would actually make more sense. No, It was mearly just a thought, nothing more, nothing less.
I left the class as the bell rang into the crowded hallways of the school and glided through peoples shoving elbows like I was a barley visable ghost. I pasted my way through countless numbers of people till I reached the outside world. The cold breeze of winter hit my face and i instantly became red as shivers rushed down my back. I listen to my surrounding, nothing was better than the sweet sound of idiotic teenagers gossiping about today's standereds or skrew ups. I sat down on the wet grass and through my backpack over me and opened it, ruseling trough numerous pointless papers and digging to the bottom for my lunch. I opened the box in which my food was supposed to be placed. Nothing but a note that read out.
Fellow Outsider, your going to have to work for your food. Look where you find the other outsider's.
"Ugh, Michelle! Always with your crazy ideas." I laughed to myself and put the box back in my bag, then got off of the ground. Of course I knew exactly where he was talking about, like every group we had our own little spot that no one else knew about but us.
Michelle Troop was my best friend he always has been there for me, he's always been my sense of security when I was going through a hard time. Of course I had a few other friends. Tira Bridge, Rama Helmy, and the one and only Tray Nelson, I didn't want to admit it to any one, but he was the boy of my dreams with his big blue eyes, and his perfect smile. Oh how perfect he was..
My train of thought stopped as I ran into a pole and fell to the ground. I couldnt move I just stared at the pole as anxiety buried my body.
"This isn't embarrising at all..." I said grabbing the pole to help me up.
"You alright Mary?" I heard a firmullar voice.
I looked up and toward the voice. It was Tray. Out of everyone God could have sent to my embarrassing rescue he sent the most stunning human being ever. NO, NO NO!!!!! DAMN IT!!!! WHY HIM? I JUST EMBARESSED MYSELF IN FONT OF HIM AND NOW HE WILL THINK I AM WEIRD.
"Yeah, I am fine..." I said controlling myself from not going absolutely crazy and running away.
"Aha, good, cause it totally looked like you loved that pole, and that would leave no love for me!" He said laughing and grabbing my hand, making me quiver.
No. He didn't like me, of course not. Who would like me? He just had this excited, flirty, and tranquilizing personality to him, I am sure he did this with many other girls. But oh, man, how I wish he would just find me as attractive as I found him. Maybe I should tell him? No, that would ruin our friendship, but how would he ever know? How complicated I am.
"I did love that pole, obviously! But I still have some for yo-u, bro.." I said trying to sound like I didn't take his touch so seriously and that I didn't really like him. What else could I do? Awkwardly stand there as if I had no clue of what was going on?
He lifted his finger and put it on my chest sidetracking me from my utter embarrassment. I looked down at his finger which was laid upon my golden heart locket.
"It's rather beautiful don't you think? I said looking at his mysterious eyes.
" Yes. I think I've seen this before somewhere in a dream."
"A dream?" I said cerioiusly wondering my eyes around his finger that still laid on my locket.
"That's what I said. Maybe Its de-sa-vo. I don't know it's just so majestic."
"Oh!!" I couldnt really find words to say, I was so confused at his gestures.
"I am sorry. Is this uncomfortable?" He said removing his finger and putting both hands to his side and backing up quickly.
"You where fine."
