Beta Test for my novel

Untitled Part

Ok so this is an unedited thought, I would like to know what everyone thinks, please be honest, brutal if need be, I really need opinions!

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He ran down the dark corridor of the ship, dodging the fallen cables emitting electric flashes. Listening for the sounds of the guards he knew were following him. It was a stroke of pure luck that this ship was getting raided, it gave just the right distraction he needed to break out of his cell. He believed he could make it to the escape shuttle bay undetected. Unfortunately, he crossed paths with a few guards, one of which he had personally given a broken nose to. So now here he was, looking for the emergency shuttle bay while simultaneously trying to outwit whoever was running this craft.

He was growing incredibly frustrated as he turned another bend in the ship and hit another blocked corridor. Whoever was raiding this ship was clearly not planning on leaving survivors. He needed to find the shuttle bay before this entire ship went down. He stopped and closed his eyes, reaching out, searching for any nearby unblocked corridor. He found two swarming with guards before one flashed in his mind that was empty. He opened his eyes and turned, taking two rights and swerving around a falling panel before reaching the hallway.

To his relief it led down directly to the shuttle bay. In the distance he heard weapons discharging and yelling, someone shouting orders and footsteps pounding to obey. He shook his head and charged into the shuttle bay. He searched each of the loading docks to find that all the shuttles had been remotely released. The only option left was to wear a survival suit and hope to the heavens that he reached a nearby planet's gravitational pull before he ran out of oxygen. The suit's emergency parachutes would save him from dying, his advanced healing would supply any additional relief from injuries.

He reached for the suit when suddenly a blast from a weapon shot close to his face. With a growl he turned to the intruder behind him. He easily dwarfed this newcomer, breaking his arm with lithe agility.

He leaned down to speak, "You should have left me be." he growled lowly before slamming the soldiers head into a panel.

He could hardly blame the soldier, he was only doing as instructed, but that did not mean he was going to willingly surrender. He quickly placed the survival suit on, and upon forcefully opening the shuttle bay hatch, he let himself be drawn out into space. He turned his body and was surprised at the carnage left in his wake. A large battleship has blasted a hole through the ship of his captors. There were no symbols or distinguishable markings, the owner of that battleship is unknown.

He did not have time to ponder more, for at that moment, the smaller ship exploded. A piece of metal hit him, effectively knocking him into the gravitational pull of the nearby planet, all he saw before blacking out was a red sky.